Enemies of Inner Peace

It's been a while since I've heard a message that I felt was written directly towards me so I guess I was overdue for a hard-hitter. I want to share my notes from a sermon I heard tonight by Ray West with you all.

The title was "Enemies of Inner Peace" and Ray opened with a verse from Colossians.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.                          Colossians 3:15 NKJ

There are a lot of people, including Christians, who struggle with finding peace. With the stresses of the world upon us, it's hard to feel optimistic about much of anything. It seems like there is so much to worry about (financial struggles, elderly parents, pleasing our boss, marriage issues, raising children, spiritual wellness) that it can be frustrating and seem down right impossible to feel stress-free and peaceful. Not to mention that watching the news every morning can make you feel like the earth is doomed. Ray gave us 5 trouble areas that can keep us from finding that peace that we all hope for.

Materialism
So at this point in the sermon I'm thinking "Ok, this is going to be the one that applies to me", but little did I know, they would all apply to me. Materialism is an enemy of peace because the more we have, the more we want. In Ecclesiastes we're told:

He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver, Nor he who loves abundance with increase. This is also vanity.                             Ecclesiastes 5:10 NKJ

The Bible talks a lot about materialism and possessions. In fact, it's so important that there are not one, but two commandments about it: Thou shall not steal and Thou shall not covet. Both commandments are for our own good. We should love God and have so much faith in Him, that we are completely content with what we have. Not to mention, no matter what we acquire here won't go with us once we die. We can't take our car, our boat, our house, our wardrobe, our diamonds, or anything we possess.

"..for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."  Luke 12:15 NKJ

I struggle with this because while I don't necessarily have to have a new car or the biggest house, any time we get an invitation in the mail to a wedding or event, my immediate thought is that I have to go out and buy a new outfit. Clothes, shoes, jewelry and makeup are my weakness. I have no problem spending $28 on mascara or justifying a new dress when I could really use that money for something else. If I wasn't so worried about how I look or how other people see or think about me, I could be happy with who I am no matter what I'm wearing, thus resulting in peace inside and out. Our lives aren't going to be measured by what we have, but who we are. Money doesn't equal happiness, no matter what society tells us.

Dualism
This one goes hand in hand with materialism. Ray referenced Matthew for this one.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.         Matthew 6:24 NKJ 

Often times, we find ourselves being pulled in so many different directions. The need to be accepted, liked and loved can make us do things that if we were truly committed to God, we wouldn't normally do. For me, my dualism is that while I love God, I'm also a people pleaser and often take on more than I can handle. This goes back to the need to be accepted and being worried about what people think of me. I have a big problem saying "yes" to things when I know I can't do it all or that I'll be stretched too thin. If I wasn't so worried about upsetting someone or letting someone down, I could do a few things really well, instead of doing so many things and just being average at them or not giving them the time and attention they deserve. If I practiced saying no more, I would have more time to spend with God doing things I know he wants me to, leaving me less stressed and having a little more peace.

Infantilism/Childish
I wasn't quite sure what Ray meant at first about this one until he said this:

Infantilism is frustrated adult people stamping their feet at the showcase of life.

Now I get it. The older I get the more I am surprised at how immature adults really are. At the workplace, in the home, at church. It amazes me that adults, especially ones who are supposedly Christians can argue and hold grudges the way that we do. Often times, the issue that is being argued over is truly not that big of a deal, but the pride gets in our way and we just can't bare to let someone else have the last word.

In his letter to the church of Corinth, Paul writes that he couldn't discuss deep spiritual lessons and truths with them because they were still spiritually immature.

... For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?                                    Luke 3:3 NKJ

The best way I can think to apply this to my life is within the church. There have been several times where a church member has made a comment to me or I've heard from someone else that there was a complaint about the sound or visuals during the service and I am so quick to become defensive and write that person off. So much so, that I replay their comment in my head over and over again, and create the best comeback  that I can, and I promise myself that the next time I see that person, I'm gonna let them have it. Y'all, that is so childish. And petty. And so not Christ-like. If we could see past our preferences, opinions and just plain ugliness, we could really get some things accomplished.

Narcissism
Narcissism is defined as excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance. In the age of Instagram and selfie-sticks, it's so easy to be wrapped up with our appearance. Why does it feel so good when we get so many likes on a Facebook post? Society and culture tell us that we are defined by how others see us. We've become so preoccupied with our outside appearance and status, that we'll quickly put our values and morals to the side for another retweet or like on Insta. And once we have those likes and that approval, we level-up and are better than the people we left behind. We are so hungry for that attention and reaffirmation that we're good enough or pretty enough, that we have no problem ranking others as lower or higher than we are. Romans 12:3 warns us about measuring ourselves against others.

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.                                    Romans 12:3 NKJ

The only thing we should measure ourselves against is God, and we will always fall short. But because of his grace that we have been given ,we can be at peace knowing that we are exactly who God made us to be, no matter how many followers or friends we have.

Perfectionism
Ray called this the worst one of all. Perfectionism is emotionally unhealthy and spiritually damaging. Not only does the need to be perfect or do all things perfectly cause us major stress and anxiety, but it says that we don't need God or His forgiveness. We have to understand that we are not perfect and never will be, which is why Jesus saved us from our sins. We are who God made us, flaws and all, for a reason. All of our flaws and imperfections make up the most unique, perfect recipe for you, and if you change the ingredients, you're no longer the person that God intended for you to be.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.                  1 John 1:8 NKJ

 So as I sit here, listening to Tanner yell "AND 1!" at Game 7, watching our new kitten play in the floor, and watching our first cat watching the new kitten that she's still not so sure about, I'm thinking about how peaceful it is. Because while there are a million things I could be worried about (work tomorrow, the dreaded Monday, what I'm going to wear, the next tragedy that will strike America) I'm going to try really hard to just be at peace, with no makeup on, God as my one and only, hopefully a maturing spirituality, a big slice of humble pie and trying to let go of the anxiety that there is a large possibility I've made a spelling or grammatical error in this rambling of a post.

Thanks for reading.

How to Plan a Wedding in 2 Weeks (And not break the bank!)

Impossible, right? Think again, because it's totally possible.....IF (and that's a big one) you don't mind simple. 3 weeks ago, my lovely then-fiancé Tanner and I decided that a large, complicated, drawn out wedding with 150+ guests and engagement parties, bridal luncheons and the whole shebang just wasn't what we wanted. It wasn't us.


Now, before I continue, let me clarify that I love large weddings. I love all of the elaborate detail and decorating that goes into them, and the thoughtfulness of each event.  I love looking at the bridesmaids dresses and hair and jewelry and all of that. However, when it came to my own personal wedding, I just wanted it to be stress free and as easy as possible. I wanted it to be intimate, and I didn't want to have to worry about making sure that I spoke to each one of my 300 guests as well as lugging a big, white sack of tulle around. Although I may not seem like it, I'm actually pretty low-maintenance. Hard to believe, I know.


Anyway, so we'd planned to go to the beach this past weekend for Tanner's birthday. And we decided that it would be a perfect time for everyone to come down to Nags Head and watch us jump the broom, tie the knot, take the plunge, or whatever you wanna call it, provided that we could find a venue, get a caterer, hire a minister, invite everyone and hope they had no plans, get a dress, get flowers, centerpieces, a cake, hotel reservations, a DJ, photographer and transportation all in 14 days.




An accurate representation of how we felt the 2 weeks prior to the wedding...

Since the ceremony would be on the beach and would require little to no decorations, I decided to start with the venue for the reception. While browsing the web I stumbled upon a restaurant called Mulligan's, which is a raw oyster bar and grille, and also had a separate elevated covered porch for small receptions and dinner parties. PERFECT. I called and left a message, hoping and praying that they wouldn't be booked.  I heard back from Shannon, the catering director, the next day and she vowed to make it happen for us. Since it was off season for tourists, she gave me a major hook up, not charging me for the venue, but only for the food and tablecloths. She helped me pick out a menu, time, and anything else I had questions with.  As it grew closer to the time of the wedding, the weather forecast didn't look so great. On the day of, we made the call to hold the ceremony inside the same place as the reception and Shannon didn't even flinch when I told her. She is an angel and without her the wedding wouldn't have been possible.

An inside look at Mulligan's covered porch...

My favorite boys!
 

Next, we needed a minister. I thought it'd be much easier to get a minister from that area, because if we had any last minute changes they know the area and could adapt better than someone from out of town. This was not smart. Beach ministers are EXPENSIVE. We opted for a long time family friend who attends our church and is an ordained minister. It was much more personal that way.

 Cupcake Connoisseur....

And Ordained Minister

                                                      

Now, I needed a dress. After my family got over the shock of a wedding in what was now 13 days, we went into super wedding mode, especially my mom. SHE ROCKED. That Saturday we took a day trip to Raleigh with my grandma, aunt, and cousin and I bought the second dress I tried on. It was actually an Easter dress; short with lace sleeves. Perfect for a beach wedding, I thought. Dress? Check. And it was under $50.

As for the DJ, we had planned just to use Pandora, but Tanner's dad actually knew a DJ from the area. His name is Billy Rainey (sp?) and if you need someone in Eastern NC, I highly recommend him. He did a really great job, especially having never met any of us before. He even sang us a song! He had a great selection and range of music.

The only flowers we had were the ones in my bouquet, Tanner's boutonnière and my dad's boutonnière. Tanner's aunt, who can only be defined as FAB (her favorite word in the English-slang dictionary) really came through with those. They were simple, yet beautiful.

Calla lilies and Seashells

My mom's best friend, Tammy, had done some pictures of my brother and I for a surprise for my mom's birthday a few years ago, and since she was going to be at the wedding anyway I thought I'd offer her the chance to take pictures of the day also. As usual, she did an amazing job.  We also found these wooden props at Michael's Crafts for about $1.99 each. We painted them ourselves and I think they were a fun touch...I know of one little boy who really loved them.

Hotel rates were not too bad, because it was off-season. That cut a major expense. I would recommend asking for a block of rooms if you can estimate about how many you'll need. The hotel may give you a little discount.



Tanner's sister, Alli, recommended a cake decorator and boy, was she a hit. We opted for cupcakes and I sent her a picture of some that I found on Pinterest. They were delicious. And looked wonderful. I'm still thinking about them. Her name is Amy Sugg and she's based out of Winterville, NC. You can find her on Facebook.

Centerpieces - possibly the most time consuming part of the planning process. We chose some really simple ones (no surprise there), however trying to figure out how many tables we needed was a little tough. Luckily, we bought an extra of each thing, and it turned out that we had just enough for each table. Most of the supplies were purchased at Michaels craft store.



I'm sure there's something I left out, but I wanted to get this post up quickly so I wouldn't forget anything. I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU to each and every person who helped, even in the smallest of ways. Everyone who came made our special day even more special and we wouldn't have changed anything.

For more pics you can visit my Facebook page by clicking HERE