All that Jesus Stuff

I know that the term Christian gets tossed around pretty loosely these days. Just about anyone can claim to be a Christian, and there's really no secret password or question you can ask them to prove that they are. I know there are millions of different denominations and types and I know that religion in itself is pretty confusing, so I'm not even going to try to go into all that detail. What I want to do is just tell you what all that Jesus stuff means to me.

I am what you would call a Cradle Christian. I've attended church ever since I was born.
Since I can remember, Sundays have always been about church. Church at 10am, Lunch after, then church at night. And sometimes even church on Wednesday nights. Seems like quite a bit, right? I've done the church camp thing, I've done the youth group thing, I've done the baptism thing. Growing up I was basically a model Christian kid. But I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't actually know what being a Christian meant.

You see, obviously I knew the difference between good and bad. And I knew that God wanted me to be good so I could go to Heaven, and if I was bad I'd go to hell. Well, I pretty much had that down by high school (with a few minor slip-ups, of course). But here's where things get hairy: I quickly discovered that the world is not divided into good or bad. There's a lot of gray area in there. I also discovered that not everyone was raised in a church (gasp). Some people didn't even know the words to The Old Rugged Cross. So as I'm realizing this, I'm questioning the things I've always been told. And at the same time, I get my first boyfriend. Then, I slide that "True Love Waits" vowel to the back of my mind. I conveniently forget the sober pledge I took. I let all of my church knowledge fall to the wayside, and I focus on having fun. After all, high school is the best time of our lives right?

*sidenote: High school is not the best time of your life. Trust me, it gets way better if you have faith. Then, you kind of realize high school is stupid and you file that under "embarrassing things to not ever think about again".*

I focus on myself. And my boyfriend. And how to get alcohol even though I'm not 21. Throughout the next 4 years I am living it up. Parties, recklessness, lack of responsibilities; the whole shebang.
But one night, things go too far. And I make a mistake that costs me a friendship and almost relationship. And I'm really lonely. And I slowly realize that none of the stuff I'm doing is fulfilling. So I pray for the first time in years. I pray a lot. I beg God to show me that he's still there and that I'm not too messed up of a person for him to still love me. What I was realizing was that I had to go back. I had to go back to where I was safe and that was at home with my family and at church, with my church family. God finally did show me that he was there. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and died 2 weeks later. God really went all out, didn't he? No, I'm not saying that God killed my granddad just to show me he had that much power. It was what happened the night he died. My granddad declined pretty rapidly and we knew the end was near. I'd finally fallen asleep when I got the call. He died at 3:15am that morning. I went to my grandmother's house, still in my pajamas, and sat with my family. And as I sat there, when I should have been crying and distraught because my loved one just died, I felt the strangest kind of peace. I sat on the couch and looked around at the rest of my beautiful family. I realized that God had been with me the whole time and that I was so loved. Then I felt the biggest sense of urgency I have ever felt. I had to do something. I had to go back to church but this time I couldn't just sit there hoping that Grandma made meatloaf for lunch. I had to get involved. I had to show people that sometimes things get messy and we make mistakes, but God is always there. I had to get this message out.

About this same time God was working on someone else. That relationship I almost ruined? It was mine. Tanner and I had been together for about a year, and I have to admit I didn't take things as seriously as I should have. But God knew what he was doing when he sent me the world's most patient man. Tanner didn't change me, he never asked me to be a different person or fight with me when I made wrong choices. Tanner was just good. He was just such a genuine, kind person that the more I was around him, the more I wanted to be like him. And he went to church with me. And he loved me unconditionally, almost as much as God did. He was the best example of love and he didn't even know it. God had given me everything I needed, I just had to hit rock bottom to realize that I needed it.

"God had given me everything I needed, I just had to hit rock bottom to realize that I needed it."

So, once I got involved in church I had a bit of a revelation. Being a Christian is not about good vs bad. Being a Christian is not about how many times you attend church. Being a Christian isn't even about how much money you donate to a church. Being a Christian is about failing and falling short, over and over again, but having the promise to always be forgiven, even when you don't deserve it because Jesus gave His life for you. Being a Christian is about having a church family and service. Being a Christian is devoting your life to serving Jesus, whether it's by helping someone less fortunate than you, volunteering at a church event, or just simply talking to Jesus about someone. You see, the world seems pretty messed up right about now and it's pretty hard to be positive with so much negativity, but I'm actually hopeful for the future, and it's because of all that Jesus stuff.

Changes in September

Time is flying, y'all! I'm not sure I even remember July, or August, for that matter. I am really trying to "stop and smell the roses" but I am just too excited for the best season ever. When it comes to fall, I'm your typical girl. I'm ready for bonfires, crunchy leaves, salted caramel lattes, anything pumpkin flavored or themed, fall décor, Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens, football and Homecoming at church. Seriously, my favorite time of year.

With all that said, the leaves aren't the only thing changing 'round here. A few months ago I found out my company is moving our offices to Greenville, NC; a town about 20 miles west of Washington. Unfortunately for us, we moved in the opposite direction, about 10 miles east of Washington. So, starting in mid-October my commute will go from 15 to 45 minutes. There is a plus side, though. Greenville is where we do most of our shopping, so on my lunch break I'm hoping to make it TJ Maxx quite a bit. I'm excited but super nervous, as I'll be working with all new people. Scared!

Last Sunday our interim minister spent his last worship service with us. He and his wife have been such a blessing to our church as we continue the search for a new minister. It's been pretty challenging, but I really feel like we're growing spiritually, and Bob and Denise had a huge part in that. I can't say how awesome they were with their words of encouragement and steady perseverance. It was really hard to see them go, but we wish them well in the future and hope we can find a full time minister quickly.

Being that I'll have a longer commute, Tanner and I are in talks about our current vehicle situation. My car is...fine, I think I just might need something a little more dependable. It's definitely not a clunker, but it has definitely seen better days. And since we don't have kids yet I think it would be better to go ahead and bite the bullet so to speak so that hopefully, by the time we do have little ones, at least one of our vehicles will be paid off. That being said, I'm looking for a mid-size SUV. I was sold on something like a Chevrolet Equinox, but then realized they didn't have third row seating. So now I'm considering a Kia Sorento. Do you guys have any suggestions? I'm not exactly looking for something as big as a Tahoe, but something larger than a Ford Escape. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

What changes are going on your world? Do you have any goals or plans for the upcoming months?

The Book that Could Save My Marriage (before it needs saving)

I've been following Danielle Butler's blog for a while now. She's actually one of the very first blogs I followed and is even one of the inspirations behind The Bright's Side. A while ago she talked about a book called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl in this blog post. It sounded like something I might be interested in so I put in on my mental To Do list. Then, about a week ago she posted on Instagram a picture of something from the book and I decided to go ahead and give it a read so I downloaded it on my iPad.


Ya'll, this book has opened my eyes and has changed my entire perspective on my marriage. I'm only on chapter 5 but so far I have gained so much from this book. I knew that I was supposed to "submit" to my husband and "honor" him and "be his crown" and all that, but I wasn't actually doing it.

 

 You see, I've been doing it all wrong so far. I've been letting my emotions and feelings control me, and whenever Tanner does something that hurts me or makes me angry, I've been handling it all wrong. Normally, if Tanner does something that upsets me, my entire mood changes. I pout or say something hurtful to him to let him know that I am not happy with him and I try to cause him pain like he's caused me. Doing this is like saying "God, I know I'm supposed to be patient and not easily angered and stuff, but this is an exception, Tanner needs to know he did something wrong so I'm going to handle this my way, and I'll handle it your way when it's a more minor offense." But the problem with that is that everything becomes an exception and you never learn to handle it God's way, only your way. You practice and practice and practice being angry and giving him the cold shoulder and learning new ways to make him feel terrible about himself all the while tearing him down and making him realize how much you don't respect him. With men, respect is key. Men feel the need to be respected like ladies feel the need to be loved and cherished. They have to have that to feel like they matter. In her book, Debi features a story about a wife that was more her husband's conscious than his help meet. When I read that story, I realized that I am the same way. I am so concerned with what Tanner's doing that when he messes up or does something I don't think he should, I feel this need to tell him what he did wrong. I feel like if I don't tell him, he might not realize he did something wrong and then he'll keep doing it. I am quickly becoming his conscious, and not his loving wife that supports him no matter what.

Maybe it's because I'm a control freak, but I'm struggling with the thought of my husband being the head of this body. I've had this idea that we are equal, that he will work hard at his job, I will work hard at my job and we will both come home and work hard with chores and dinner. But that is wrong. Tanner is not designed to be my equal. I am not designed to be his. Tanner is made to lead me and I am made to follow. I was created to help him in whatever he needs. I am here for support, love, reverence and whatever else he needs me to be. There are not 2 leading roles in a marriage. There is 1. Tanner gets that role and I am the supporting role and I am trying really hard to accept that. Our culture has taught us that we should fight for equality in marriages and that each partner should be equal, but God says otherwise. God's plan for women is to help and support the husband, to be merry, joyful and thankful at all times.

There are so many other lessons I've learned already but this is probably the largest one. I highly recommend this read. It's a bit radical and it's definitely challenging, but I'm gaining so much from it. I can't wait to do a full review on it!

Feeling the Burn (literally) with Colton Dixon

Hi guys, do I have a story for you today! Last Saturday my best friend, Lyndsay and I, spent our day volunteering at a Colton Dixon concert. Lyndsay is a cosmetologist and one of her clients owns an event planning business. This particular business does a lot of work for the Christian radio station in our town, which is called The Bridge FM. Lyndsay’s client asked us last week if we’d help with Colton’s concert and we said we’d love to. We were instructed to be at the theatre at 11:30am Saturday morning and plan on being there until after the concert was over that night. We were so excited we even went shopping Friday night to find new outfits to wear. We had no idea what we were in for…..

Upon our arrival, we were told to steam tablecloths for the merchandise table and start setting up the items on the Colton’s rider. A rider is a list of requests an artist makes for his performance. We headed to the green room to start setting it all up. Lyndsay filled the steamer and I started putting their snacks in buckets on their table. Within several minutes more volunteers were showing up and more jobs were being handed out. Things got a little crazy and just when I could feel the sweat starting to trickle down my forehead (RIP my foundation) I made the most embarrassing mistake ever. I walked over to the steamer to see if it was hot and it was, finally, so I grabbed the handle off of the hook and pulled it over to a tablecloth. I thought the cord was longer than it actually was, so when I pulled steamer over to me, the entire thing fell over. I dropped the handle to catch it, but as I did that the boiling water started pouring out of the handle and onto my left foot (and my new Jack Rogers L). Ya’ll, I have never experienced so much pain. Not to mention as I’m jumping around like a maniac trying desperately not to cry or say an ugly word, the director of the event walks in just in time to see the boiling water bubbling over my foot onto the ground and the tablecloth being soaked. I could have curled up in a ball and died. I decided right then and there that I was not cut out for this type of work.

Lyndsay and I picked up the steamer and tablecloth and she started to steam desperately. By this time Colton and his crew were arriving and we were under a lot of pressure to get things finished for their green room and get lunch set up. My foot was still on fire and I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like to have someone trying to cut your leg off with a chainsaw. Seriously, if childbirth is worse than boiling water on your skin, Count. Me. Out.

After that, we hung the tablecloths over a couch in the lobby and started to set up lunch. Colton and his band came in and ate, then headed into the auditorium for sound check. Lyndsay and I ate and I ranted to her about how embarrassed I was. The director came in and asked to take a look at my foot (she used to be an EMT) and said she thought they were 2^nd degree burns. She told us we could go home for a little while but to be back by 3pm. The break was much needed, as we were sweaty, shiny, ill and hungry. We went back to Lyndsay’s and took a quick 15 minute rest, touched up our hair and makeup, then went to my mom’s house to get some cream for my burns. Luckily, she had something to put on my foot and once she did the pain went away almost immediately. We decided to head back to the theatre and tough out the rest of the afternoon and night.

 

We got there around 3 and watched the end of Colton’s sound check. After that the director gave us a rundown of the ticket booth that we were in charge of and gave us a few more duties. We had a meeting at 4pm with all of the volunteers then ate a really quick, but delicious dinner. After dinner we headed back to the ticket booth and lines were already forming outside. People who bought VIP tickets were allowed to come in at 5:30pm for the meet and greet. After getting the VIPs sorted and in line to meet Colton, we opened the doors and let the rest of the concert goers in. There was a mad rush of tickets, cash, and children for about an hour then things quieted down. The opening band started at 7pm and we let the last people in at 7:05pm. Lyndsay and I headed upstairs to watch the concert from the volunteer section in the balcony. The opening band was the praise and worship team from Covenant Church, based out of Washington, NC and they did a great job. There was about a 10 minute intermission while Colton’s people set up then he started right at 7:50pm. He opened with a few rock-ish songs and he had a great energy. In about the middle of his set he did one of his singles on the radio right now “More of You”, and then he said a few words about faith and what it means to be the church verses going to church. He did a few songs on the piano, one of which was “Through It All”. I could feel the energy change in the crowd and I think everyone really enjoyed that time of worship. It was really wholesome and pure and I think God touched a lot of people during that. Lyndsay and I headed back down to the ticket booth to get ready to start selling tickets for the next event before all of the people came out of the show. We sold several tickets for October’s event, which is the “Time of My Life” tour featuring Chris August, The Afters, Unspoken, and Among the Thirsty. Colton came out to the merch table and signed a bunch of autographs and took a lot of pictures with the fans. He was kind and made lots of jokes, so he was an instant hit with the tween girls. Overall I think everyone really enjoyed the show and he seemed like he genuinely had a good time. After he went back to the green room, Lyndsay and I grabbed our things and headed home. I haven’t been that tired in a long time, but it was a great experience and although my foot still burns if I touch it, I’d definitely do it again.

 

 

 

 

The Obsession with Marriage

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't lose an embarrassing number of hours on Facebook each day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a creep and a class A Stalker. Each day as I'm browsing my news feed, skipping over the boring stuff ( if I see one more picture of a fake "Jesus" asking me to declare my faith by liking or sharing a picture I'm gonna lose it), it never fails that there is an article on marriage that has gone viral. These articles have become more and more frequent, and while there are some good ones out there, whether the title is "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Married" or "Confessions of a Teenage Bride", they're all rebutting to the same debate: What is the appropriate age of marriage?


I'll also admit that I read almost all of these articles. And instead of being inspired to right my own rebuttal, I'm just left wondering why there's such a battle going on between marrying young or old? What is the obsession with marrying at 21? What is the obsession with marrying at 35?  Is it because successful marriages seem so far and few between that as a generation we're searching for some secret piece of advice to make our marriages work? And because there are so many things in our lives and culture that we have to be "of age" to do, have we lumped marriage into that category also?


I understand that a lot of this has to do with where we're raised. People in the South tend to want to marry young, so they can start a family young and so on. I've noticed that people in the North like to wait, so they can establish their careers and then add marriage to the mix. People in the West (California, I'm talking to you) just do whatever they want and may live with 6 random people for the rest of their lives or in the desert by themselves with nothing but a camper and a thong. I do realize that this blanket statement doesn't apply to all people, there are exceptions to every rule, and I don't mean to offend anyone.


All in all, I just don't get it. Does it really matter what age someone gets married? If you want to be married at 16 (and it's legal in your state) then do it. If you want to be married at 45 then adopt a kid from each continent, please do it. There's no need to bash others because they're doing what they think is best for them. Just because you don't think giving up hangovers and glitter in places you didn't even know glitter could get is worth being a wife doesn't mean other women don't. And just because you don't want to have laugh lines and crows feet on your wedding day doesn't mean that other women wouldn't cherish those in their wedding photos. There's no one else who dictates your marriage more than the people who are in it, so marry when you want. Marry 2 months or 20 years after meeting someone. As long as you feel in your heart that you're doing what God has planned for you, no one else matters.

Jesus was a Freak

Before you're offended by my sac-religious title, hear me out.

Sometimes I like to wonder what Jesus would have been like if he were here today. What would he wear? How would he talk? Would he cut his hair or wear it in a ponytail? Would he be a Republican or a Democrat? What kind of music would he like? Who would he hang out with?

Many of us would like to think that Jesus was a cool kid. That he would be the popular guy, the one invited to all of the parties, the one who would walk down the halls in high school giving everyone high fives and fist-bumping teachers. But, for a few reasons, I don't think this is the case.

I think Jesus would have been labeled a freak. A loser. A nerd. Or whatever kids call each other these days. Think about it, Jesus didn't hang out with kings and queens, he hung out with prostitutes and lepers. He was friends with adulterers and tax collectors. Jesus hung out with the kids (people) who were different. The ones who had bad home lives, the alcoholics, the trouble makers. And he was literally persecuted for that.

I think there are three reasons for this. The first is obvious. He was trying to show them God's love. He was showing them that despite whatever sin they were defined by, God loved them and there was more to life than what they had been shown. And even when they weren't accepted by their own people, God accepted them and had a reward so great that no amount of acceptance on Earth could compare.

The second reason is also quite obvious. If Jesus was "cool" and accepted, then there would have never been a crucifixion, because everyone liked him. There wouldn't have been riots and he wouldn't have had people spit on him. If someone wanted to persecute him everyone else would just say "Jesus? He's cool. Let him chill for a bit." and that would have been the end of that. But instead, Jesus was an outcast. Thus, leading to one of the most brutal deaths our dear Savior could have endured.

The third reason I think that Jesus was a freak is to be an example to us, right now, in modern times. Even all those years ago, he was showing us that it's ok to not be apart of the crowd. It's ok to stand out. It's ok to invite the co-worker that no one likes to watch MNF.  It's perfectly fine to talk to the girl sitting by herself at lunch, in fact, God wants you to do that! He wants you to reach out to those who have never known his grace and love. Today's world is all about status and gain. We're in such a rush to be the same as everyone else and to fit in.

Let's go against the grain. Let's be Jesus to the freaks. Embrace them. Show them there's more. Tell them that there are much better things ahead. And most of all, love them. Love them just like Jesus would have done.