We've Got News!

 

 We are so excited to share with everyone that after a lot of talking and a lot of praying, we're headed to Jacksonville, NC.  

 

Why Jacksonville?
We're teaming up with some awesome people to plant a church. Restore Church will open it's doors March 2017, and while that seems like a long time from now, our team has a lot to do. Jacksonville is about an hour and 30 minutes from where we currently live.

What is Restore Church?
Restore Church is a church plant that is currently being supported by the Eastern North Carolina Christian Men's Fellowship. When Tanner and I first heard about the need for a church in Jacksonville, we both agreed it was something we'd love to be apart of. Little did we know that about 2 months later we'd be officially joining the team. You can check out Restore's website or ENCCMF's website to learn more.

When Do You Leave?
Even though our first Sunday isn't until March of 2017, our plans are to move in the fall, most likely around mid-September. If anyone knows of any good neighborhoods with rental properties, feel free to get in touch with us.

Are You Crazy?
We just might be! We realize it seems like a crazy idea to some, but we're sure that this is where God is leading us. While it would be much easier to stay where we are and continue to have a "good life", we believe that God doesn't call us to just have a good life. He calls us to have great lives, which can mean to take risks, step outside of our comfort zones and do things we normally wouldn't do, all to tell others about Him. We may be crazy to go, but with how much grace and love God has given us and continues to give us, we would definitely be crazy not to. This world needs love more than ever and we want to spread it all over!

What Do You Need?
Lots of prayer and support! While we are so excited for this adventure, we'd (mostly me) be lying if we said we weren't a little nervous. Because we've had such great support from family and friends this far, we know you guys will stick with us no matter what.

 

 

Lastly, we just want to say thank you. To the people we've told so far, thank you for the support. Thank you for being optimistic, for being proud of us and for promising to be at Restore on our opening Sunday. To our parents, thank you for making us feel like we can do anything we set our minds to. To our Rosemary church family, thank you for summer camp, tough love, lifelong memories and a place to always call home.

Better Half

Better Half

Hopefully, through reading my blog you'll get to know a lot about me, but the story wouldn't be complete without my better half. I could probably spend hours gushing over who I think is the most perfect man in the world but I'll spare you all from that mushy, lovey-dovey stuff.

Tanner and I went to high school together, but we didn't actually meet until my senior year. I was friends with his girlfriend at the time, so we all went to my senior prom together. Tanner was quiet, and if I knew anything about him it was just that he drove a turquoise jeep and wore camouflage. Not really my thing back then.

We didn't really hang out with the same groups of people so after I graduated I didn't see him again for a while. Then one night I happened to run into him at a restaurant and a few hours later I got a message on Facebook. (How cheesy, right?!) Anyways, long story short I gave him my number and we started "talking"...or at least I think that's what the young people still call it. Our first date was at Carolina Ale House and while it was nice, it was a little awkward. I couldn't help but notice how genuinely sweet he was. I could tell he was nervous and I was flattered by that. I hadn't dated anyone that nice in a long time.

Fast forward to exactly 2 years later and I'm walking down the aisle to him. Our wedding was small, simple and very casual, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. We've been married a year and a half now and Tanner shows me every day that he is still that genuine, kind guy that I fell in love with. He's selfless, hard-working and so silly. He plays the guitar like it was made for him, loves golf and nothing makes me more proud than to see him serving the Lord at church or wherever else we go. I'll be the first to admit that at times I've wandered pretty far from the path of God,  but the Lord knew just what he was doing when he sent me the best trail guide and partner in the world.

The Book that Could Save My Marriage (before it needs saving)

I've been following Danielle Butler's blog for a while now. She's actually one of the very first blogs I followed and is even one of the inspirations behind The Bright's Side. A while ago she talked about a book called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl in this blog post. It sounded like something I might be interested in so I put in on my mental To Do list. Then, about a week ago she posted on Instagram a picture of something from the book and I decided to go ahead and give it a read so I downloaded it on my iPad.


Ya'll, this book has opened my eyes and has changed my entire perspective on my marriage. I'm only on chapter 5 but so far I have gained so much from this book. I knew that I was supposed to "submit" to my husband and "honor" him and "be his crown" and all that, but I wasn't actually doing it.

 

 You see, I've been doing it all wrong so far. I've been letting my emotions and feelings control me, and whenever Tanner does something that hurts me or makes me angry, I've been handling it all wrong. Normally, if Tanner does something that upsets me, my entire mood changes. I pout or say something hurtful to him to let him know that I am not happy with him and I try to cause him pain like he's caused me. Doing this is like saying "God, I know I'm supposed to be patient and not easily angered and stuff, but this is an exception, Tanner needs to know he did something wrong so I'm going to handle this my way, and I'll handle it your way when it's a more minor offense." But the problem with that is that everything becomes an exception and you never learn to handle it God's way, only your way. You practice and practice and practice being angry and giving him the cold shoulder and learning new ways to make him feel terrible about himself all the while tearing him down and making him realize how much you don't respect him. With men, respect is key. Men feel the need to be respected like ladies feel the need to be loved and cherished. They have to have that to feel like they matter. In her book, Debi features a story about a wife that was more her husband's conscious than his help meet. When I read that story, I realized that I am the same way. I am so concerned with what Tanner's doing that when he messes up or does something I don't think he should, I feel this need to tell him what he did wrong. I feel like if I don't tell him, he might not realize he did something wrong and then he'll keep doing it. I am quickly becoming his conscious, and not his loving wife that supports him no matter what.

Maybe it's because I'm a control freak, but I'm struggling with the thought of my husband being the head of this body. I've had this idea that we are equal, that he will work hard at his job, I will work hard at my job and we will both come home and work hard with chores and dinner. But that is wrong. Tanner is not designed to be my equal. I am not designed to be his. Tanner is made to lead me and I am made to follow. I was created to help him in whatever he needs. I am here for support, love, reverence and whatever else he needs me to be. There are not 2 leading roles in a marriage. There is 1. Tanner gets that role and I am the supporting role and I am trying really hard to accept that. Our culture has taught us that we should fight for equality in marriages and that each partner should be equal, but God says otherwise. God's plan for women is to help and support the husband, to be merry, joyful and thankful at all times.

There are so many other lessons I've learned already but this is probably the largest one. I highly recommend this read. It's a bit radical and it's definitely challenging, but I'm gaining so much from it. I can't wait to do a full review on it!

1 Month Down

In an effort to make polite conversation at the grocery store or bank, people often ask me the same question, "So, how's married life?" I usually give a variation of this answer (sorry): "He plays golf a little more, but other than that it's pretty good." And I smile and continue to run errands. I guess, if you've asked me and genuinely would like to know, I'll give you a little insight to the past month of our sometimes crazy, yet mostly boring life together.

First and foremost, marriage is FUN. There is no one else on this Earth that can make me laugh like Tanner can and I whole-heartedly appreciate that he has no reservations about being completely stupid and silly with me. So far, marriage is pretty much like having a continuous sleepover with someone who is willing to do the guy part of the duet for whatever song you're singing at that moment, and occasionally adding in his own lyrics just to make you laugh, then cooking you pancakes and maybe even adding chocolate chips to yours because he knows you love anything and everything chocolate.

But marriage is also fun in the sense that you can both sit on the couch watching endless episodes of Cops Reloaded while eating Oreos and not say a word to each other for an hour and still being completely happy just because you know that person is there enjoying it just as much as you are.

Secondly, although we've only been married a month, I'm already learning the very, very, very, very hard lesson of compromise. Who knew there were so many other ways to do things than how your mom taught you (i.e. folding towels, washing dishes, etc)? And just as important as the time is that you spend together, is that you have some time apart. Tanner is a great golfer. He recently won his first tournament, and I couldn't be more proud. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little jealous sometimes when he leaves on Saturday mornings. Sometimes I even feel like he's being selfish by leaving me alone all day, when the weekend is only 2 days long and he knows we won't see each other until Saturday evening. But then I have to think back to all of those marriage articles I've read, reminding me that marriage is not about me at all. And it isn't Tanner's job to make me happy. And that what really makes me happy is when he's happy, like last weekend when he won his first tournament. Seeing how proud and confident he was after winning was worth not seeing him until that night. Not to mention his trophy is making a great candy dish in our living room right now.

Thirdly, yes, we've had our first fight. It was really hard and I cried and he got mad. I'm not a person who believes a good relationship has no arguments, but I'm not someone who believes you have to argue to have a good relationship. I believe that there should be a healthy balance. I know we're going to argue and maybe get in an occasional fight, but as long as we have boundaries, like not insulting each other just to hurt that person, or going to bed angry, I think we'll be just fine.

 

 

 

 

Impromptu Fro Yo Date
 

How to Plan a Wedding in 2 Weeks (And not break the bank!)

Impossible, right? Think again, because it's totally possible.....IF (and that's a big one) you don't mind simple. 3 weeks ago, my lovely then-fiancé Tanner and I decided that a large, complicated, drawn out wedding with 150+ guests and engagement parties, bridal luncheons and the whole shebang just wasn't what we wanted. It wasn't us.


Now, before I continue, let me clarify that I love large weddings. I love all of the elaborate detail and decorating that goes into them, and the thoughtfulness of each event.  I love looking at the bridesmaids dresses and hair and jewelry and all of that. However, when it came to my own personal wedding, I just wanted it to be stress free and as easy as possible. I wanted it to be intimate, and I didn't want to have to worry about making sure that I spoke to each one of my 300 guests as well as lugging a big, white sack of tulle around. Although I may not seem like it, I'm actually pretty low-maintenance. Hard to believe, I know.


Anyway, so we'd planned to go to the beach this past weekend for Tanner's birthday. And we decided that it would be a perfect time for everyone to come down to Nags Head and watch us jump the broom, tie the knot, take the plunge, or whatever you wanna call it, provided that we could find a venue, get a caterer, hire a minister, invite everyone and hope they had no plans, get a dress, get flowers, centerpieces, a cake, hotel reservations, a DJ, photographer and transportation all in 14 days.




An accurate representation of how we felt the 2 weeks prior to the wedding...

Since the ceremony would be on the beach and would require little to no decorations, I decided to start with the venue for the reception. While browsing the web I stumbled upon a restaurant called Mulligan's, which is a raw oyster bar and grille, and also had a separate elevated covered porch for small receptions and dinner parties. PERFECT. I called and left a message, hoping and praying that they wouldn't be booked.  I heard back from Shannon, the catering director, the next day and she vowed to make it happen for us. Since it was off season for tourists, she gave me a major hook up, not charging me for the venue, but only for the food and tablecloths. She helped me pick out a menu, time, and anything else I had questions with.  As it grew closer to the time of the wedding, the weather forecast didn't look so great. On the day of, we made the call to hold the ceremony inside the same place as the reception and Shannon didn't even flinch when I told her. She is an angel and without her the wedding wouldn't have been possible.

An inside look at Mulligan's covered porch...

My favorite boys!
 

Next, we needed a minister. I thought it'd be much easier to get a minister from that area, because if we had any last minute changes they know the area and could adapt better than someone from out of town. This was not smart. Beach ministers are EXPENSIVE. We opted for a long time family friend who attends our church and is an ordained minister. It was much more personal that way.

 Cupcake Connoisseur....

And Ordained Minister

                                                      

Now, I needed a dress. After my family got over the shock of a wedding in what was now 13 days, we went into super wedding mode, especially my mom. SHE ROCKED. That Saturday we took a day trip to Raleigh with my grandma, aunt, and cousin and I bought the second dress I tried on. It was actually an Easter dress; short with lace sleeves. Perfect for a beach wedding, I thought. Dress? Check. And it was under $50.

As for the DJ, we had planned just to use Pandora, but Tanner's dad actually knew a DJ from the area. His name is Billy Rainey (sp?) and if you need someone in Eastern NC, I highly recommend him. He did a really great job, especially having never met any of us before. He even sang us a song! He had a great selection and range of music.

The only flowers we had were the ones in my bouquet, Tanner's boutonnière and my dad's boutonnière. Tanner's aunt, who can only be defined as FAB (her favorite word in the English-slang dictionary) really came through with those. They were simple, yet beautiful.

Calla lilies and Seashells

My mom's best friend, Tammy, had done some pictures of my brother and I for a surprise for my mom's birthday a few years ago, and since she was going to be at the wedding anyway I thought I'd offer her the chance to take pictures of the day also. As usual, she did an amazing job.  We also found these wooden props at Michael's Crafts for about $1.99 each. We painted them ourselves and I think they were a fun touch...I know of one little boy who really loved them.

Hotel rates were not too bad, because it was off-season. That cut a major expense. I would recommend asking for a block of rooms if you can estimate about how many you'll need. The hotel may give you a little discount.



Tanner's sister, Alli, recommended a cake decorator and boy, was she a hit. We opted for cupcakes and I sent her a picture of some that I found on Pinterest. They were delicious. And looked wonderful. I'm still thinking about them. Her name is Amy Sugg and she's based out of Winterville, NC. You can find her on Facebook.

Centerpieces - possibly the most time consuming part of the planning process. We chose some really simple ones (no surprise there), however trying to figure out how many tables we needed was a little tough. Luckily, we bought an extra of each thing, and it turned out that we had just enough for each table. Most of the supplies were purchased at Michaels craft store.



I'm sure there's something I left out, but I wanted to get this post up quickly so I wouldn't forget anything. I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU to each and every person who helped, even in the smallest of ways. Everyone who came made our special day even more special and we wouldn't have changed anything.

For more pics you can visit my Facebook page by clicking HERE

The Obsession with Marriage

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't lose an embarrassing number of hours on Facebook each day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a creep and a class A Stalker. Each day as I'm browsing my news feed, skipping over the boring stuff ( if I see one more picture of a fake "Jesus" asking me to declare my faith by liking or sharing a picture I'm gonna lose it), it never fails that there is an article on marriage that has gone viral. These articles have become more and more frequent, and while there are some good ones out there, whether the title is "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Married" or "Confessions of a Teenage Bride", they're all rebutting to the same debate: What is the appropriate age of marriage?


I'll also admit that I read almost all of these articles. And instead of being inspired to right my own rebuttal, I'm just left wondering why there's such a battle going on between marrying young or old? What is the obsession with marrying at 21? What is the obsession with marrying at 35?  Is it because successful marriages seem so far and few between that as a generation we're searching for some secret piece of advice to make our marriages work? And because there are so many things in our lives and culture that we have to be "of age" to do, have we lumped marriage into that category also?


I understand that a lot of this has to do with where we're raised. People in the South tend to want to marry young, so they can start a family young and so on. I've noticed that people in the North like to wait, so they can establish their careers and then add marriage to the mix. People in the West (California, I'm talking to you) just do whatever they want and may live with 6 random people for the rest of their lives or in the desert by themselves with nothing but a camper and a thong. I do realize that this blanket statement doesn't apply to all people, there are exceptions to every rule, and I don't mean to offend anyone.


All in all, I just don't get it. Does it really matter what age someone gets married? If you want to be married at 16 (and it's legal in your state) then do it. If you want to be married at 45 then adopt a kid from each continent, please do it. There's no need to bash others because they're doing what they think is best for them. Just because you don't think giving up hangovers and glitter in places you didn't even know glitter could get is worth being a wife doesn't mean other women don't. And just because you don't want to have laugh lines and crows feet on your wedding day doesn't mean that other women wouldn't cherish those in their wedding photos. There's no one else who dictates your marriage more than the people who are in it, so marry when you want. Marry 2 months or 20 years after meeting someone. As long as you feel in your heart that you're doing what God has planned for you, no one else matters.