East Bound & Down

Last weekend Tanner and I took our first vacation as a married couple to Hilton Head Island, SC. Tanner plays in an amateur tour in Eastern NC and each year they hold the tour championship in Hilton Head. All of the GolfWeek tours from all over the country come together and have a major tournament with luncheons, club demos, etc. We got to meet some really cool people and even though I don't golf, it was actually pretty interesting. Overall there was about 800 golfers in the tournament, the youngest being only 12 years old! We left Thursday and it took us about 7 hours to make the trip down; we stopped a few times and really tried not to rush, we wanted to take our time.

 

Once we got checked in to the hotel, we unpacked and I started on my hair and makeup. I'd left fresh-faced and wet-headed that morning since we left at 7am. Ain't nobody got time to go full glitz for a 7 hour drive. Once I looked half-way decent we drove over to Port Royal golf club to register and check out the competition. I begged Tanner to let me take his picture and he finally agreed.

 

 

 

 

Once we registered we headed to Savannah, GA to have dinner with Tanner's cousin Hannah and her fiancé Jackson. Savannah was only about 40 minutes away and wasn't a bad drive at all. I really wanted to get more pictures of that night but all I got was a picture of the sunset while we were coming over the bridge. Maybe next time I'll remember to take more pics...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday was the first day of the tournament. We woke up at 6, met some of the other golfers at a diner for breakfast and I dropped Tanner off at the course he was supposed to play. I headed back to the hotel to take a shower and get dressed then off to the Tanger Outlets I went. I'd planned an entire day of shopping in each of the 132 stores and couldn't wait to get started. I'd even made a list of things I'd wanted to find: pants, sweaters and a new purse. Little did I know as soon as I walked into Kate Spade I would find exactly what I was looking for. I'd also picked the right day because everything was 40% and I got a 30% coupon from one of the employees at the door. For those of you who can't do math, that's a 70% discount. The bargain queen inside of me was doing cartwheels when I saw this porter bag. I ended up buying it for a total of 75% off of the original price. Yay bargains!

 

 

After Kate Spade I went over to Gap and got a sweater and, surprisingly, wasn't in the mood to shop anymore. I think I was still on a high from the deal I got at Kate Spade that I felt like I should maybe stop while I was ahead, because I probably wouldn't find a better bargain that day. Now that my bargain queen self was happy, I decided to take a walk on the wild side. I headed back to the course Tanner was playing and hopped on a golf cart while no one was looking (after giving myself a pep talk to do it in the women's lobby) and jetted off to find my golf lovin' husband.

 

 

I found him on the 7th hole and followed him for the last 3 (he started on 10, so he'd played a full 18) and managed to get some really good pictures of him! Once his round was over we headed back to Port Royal for lunch and to check out everyone's scores. Tanner didn't play his best, but he had such a good time and is already practicing for next year.

 

 We went back to the hotel after lunch and he took a nap while I freshened up and watched a little tv. For dinner we went to Giuseppi's Pizza & Pasta (thanks for the suggestion, Hannah!) and it was so good that we actually ended up going back Sunday night for takeout.

 

 

Saturday Tanner played a different course so after I dropped him of there I went to explore the beach. The sand was hot and the water was warm. I couldn't believe how great the weather was for mid-October. I'll definitely make a point to spend a whole day at the beach if we come back next year.

 

Tanner called around 2 and I picked him up so we could go check out the scores. After that it was getting close to dinner so we decided to walk to an Asian restaurant from the hotel. It was an Asian buffet that had Thai, Chinese & Japanese food. It was pretty good for the price, nothing spectacular.

Sidenote: Why do Asian buffets always have jello on their dessert bars?

 

After dinner we walked another 2 blocks down the street to a Pirate themed Putt-Putt course. We played both courses and I can say with confidence that I kicked his butt on the first one. I got 3 hole-in-ones! By the second course I was over it so I goofed around while he worked on his putting game. We met a really nice couple from the UK who were both here on internships at golf clubs. They said so far, they loved the states, go figure!

 

 

 

Sunday was the last day of the tournament and I let Tanner take the car to breakfast and the club. I spent the day packing most of our stuff and finishing the second season of America Horror Story Asylum on Netflix. It felt so great to just relax and not do much of anything. Tanner picked me up around 2 and we went to see the final scores of the tournament. We hung around until about 5:30 for the closing ceremony where they passed out all of the trophies. After that we picked up our pizza and headed back to the hotel to chill out and finish packing.

Monday we hit the road around 8:30 and started the trip back. Instead of going down I-95, we decided to take the scenic route through Charleston and Myrtle Beach. We stopped for lunch in MB and Tanner went to a few golf stores but wasn't really impressed. We made it back about 6 that night and had dinner with my mom.  I started some laundry, and went to bed, only to get back to the grind on Tuesday.

 

Overall, we had a great time. Even though I didn't do much while Tanner was golfing, it felt wonderful to just be away from work and the stress of every day life for a few days. I'm so thankful that we had the means to take our trip, especially because it made Tanner so happy. Now that it's over, time to start Christmas shopping!!

 

 

5 Signs that Prove You're Adulting

Adulting (verb-ing) :

The natural act or process of becoming an adult, much like puberty (again), but with less body hair.

There is no definite age for the right time for someone to begin to Adult, but it usually happens right around your mid-late 20s. Adulting is a natural process in which one becomes less concerned with things that happen from 9pm-3am and more concerned with things that are happening between the hours of 8am and 5pm. Here are a few symptoms so that you may diagnose yourself:

1. Watching the news - once something dreadful that your parents did, you have found yourself voluntarily catching the morning/evening news and sometimes even the Today show. You are beginning to be aware of things going on outside of your social bubble. A person who is in the advanced stages of adulting may even plan to watch the news and perhaps might enjoy a cup of coffee or tea while doing so.

2.You get excited over very small things - You will most likely get excited about things that you would have once considered lame or boring. You will soon experience the joy of ripping open a piece of mail (yes, actual mail! in your own mailbox!) and finding that your electric or utility bill is $30 lower than last month's bill. This is an especially large feat because you can now buy those practical and comfortable shoes you've had your eye on at JC Penney.

3. Going to bed by 10pm is a treat - Yes, a full 8 hours of sleep! Now that you've done the dishes and folded laundry you get to go to bed. Maybe you'll even read for a few minutes or watch that show you keep missing. You'll most likely lay in bed and scroll through Twitter for 30 minutes, though.

4. You check your credit for free at least once - What is your credit score anyway? Every adult should have some type of idea what their credit looks like. You'll need this info when you go to purchase your first car by yourself.

 

5. Your wardrobe is changing - Slowly, but surely, that section in your closet for "club clothes" is dwindling. You replace your bandage dresses with wrap dresses or sensible dress pants. Your t-shirts are replaced with button-ups or the occasional Polo t-shirt. You consider buying a suit. You find yourself questioning how comfortable those 6inch stilettos will be in 4 hours. You stop shopping at stores with the word Body in the name (ex. Body Central, Body Shop).

 

 

 

Honeymoon, finally!

 

 

Sort of. As most of you know, Tanner and I had a very small wedding in which you can read all about HERE so we never really got to go on a Honeymoon. I had also just started at Gregory Poole a few months before and didn't have any vacation time built up. Also, if you know anything about Mr. Bright, you know that he adores the game of golf. This year was his first year participating in the Down East Amateur Tour and he's loved it. Each year they have a Champions Tournament on Hilton Head Island, SC  in October and I knew as soon as I saw the tour's schedule my better half would have to be there, so we've decided to make it a mini-honeymoon. We're going down that Thursday night and coming back on Monday, since the tourney is Fri-Sun. Along the way we plan to stop in Wilmington, Myrtle Beach and Charleston, since Tanner has never been to any of those, and we are so excited! You may be thinking "that's not a honeymoon if he's going to be golfing 3 out of 5 days" but let me tell you, it is. We'll get to have lunch together and spend the evenings together but while he's doing his golf thing, I will gladly be wasting away at the Tanger outlet mall in Bluffton. And I LOVE a good bargain. It's like I can smell them almost.

 

Anyway, we still have about a month before we go, so I have plenty of time to plan an itinerary. Do you guys have any suggestions of some cool places in Hilton Head?

Why You Should Care a Little Bit

Lots of people care "too much", others don't seem to care about anything at all.

 

This could probably apply to a lot of different things but today, I'm talking about appearance.  We like to think there are two kinds of people in this world: The ones who wear pajamas in public and the ones who can't go to Wal-Mart without being full glitzed (lipstick included). I, however, think both parties could learn a few things from the other one and create a smart and stylish third party.  On one hand, you should always stick to yourself. If jeans and a tee is your thing, than rock it. If you need to feel put together always, do it. But be appropriate and always know the expected attire wherever you're going.

 

For some people, it's easy to not care. Not worrying about doing your hair, wearing something nice or putting on foundation saves you a lot of time that you could potentially use for other things like sleeping, or another episode of Orange is the New Black. But think about this ladies: What if that day you choose to "bum it" and just happen to meet your future spouse. Do you really want that to be his first impression of you? Imagine, it's your 25th wedding anniversary and he stands up for his speech and opens with something like "as soon as I saw her ramen noodle stained sweatpants and ill-fitting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt I knew she was the one for me" ?? I hope not. I hope you have a little bit more pride than that. A woman who takes care of her self says she's confident. And confidence is the most attractive thing there is.

 

But that's just an example, please, please, please don't do it just for a man. When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good you're bound to have a way better day and outlook on things. All women are beautiful, no matter what color, size, nationality, whatever. We are all beautiful. So flaunt it, baby!

 

For others, appearance is everything. Taking hours to get ready. Perfecting the smoky eye. Must. get. winged. eyeliner. even. The perfect outfit. Often, these women spend so much time on their appearance, they forget to dress themselves with other things, like good qualities and attitudes. If you fall into the category of always having to look perfect, maybe it's a deeper issue than perfectionism. Maybe you should borrow someone from the first group of people, get them to teach you how to like yourself after you've taken your makeup off, then you can share some tips with them on how to look put together, but not too overdone.

This post may sound a little condescending and I'll admit that it was tough to write, because I wasn't quite sure how to get my point across. I guess my point is that, like everything, there is a healthy balance. Be confident with who you are, and let your outward appearance reflect that.  

 

Waiting..

I am always waiting. Waiting for 5pm so I can leave work. Waiting for an email. Waiting for Summer to be over and for Fall to kick in. Waiting for my sister-in-law's wedding. Waiting for the weekend. I am always waiting for something.

When Tanner and I started getting serious and I realized he was the one I wanted forever, I couldn't wait for him to propose. It was like I was about to explode. Everywhere we went I drove him crazy with hints that I was ready to say YES any day now. It got so bad that he finally had to grab my shoulders and shake me (literally) in the middle of Wal-Mart and tell me that he got the hint, and if it was up to him he would have proposed yesterday, but "diamonds are a little out of the budget right now".  After that, I calmed down a little.....not really though, I just didn't mention it around him again. Instead, I would spend my Saturdays floating around in my best friend's pool, both of us daydreaming about our significant others popping the question (sorry Izzy!). And trust me ya'll, when he finally did ask me, I was so happy and ecstatic and felt like I had a million butterflies land on me all at once. I wanted him to propose so bad because for some reason I felt like if we could just be engaged, then life would start. Then we could have everything we'd ever wanted. But then I did it again........ I started waiting.

2 months later we were married. We just couldn't wait any longer. We both decided that a big wedding wasn't what we wanted, nor could we afford, so we invited a few of our close family members and were married at the beach in March 2014. It was absolutely beautiful and I wouldn't change a thing. But then it happened again............ I was waiting.  This time I was waiting for a house. I thought that once we were married and had our own house, then life would start. Then I would have it all. A husband, a house, a good job. A house was the final key because it was something of our own. But then life happened. Car issues, more bills, etc. Then, one Saturday in my best friend's pool, I had an epiphany.

Life is happening. Right now. Our first year has already had so many ups and downs that we can look back on and laugh. We've already made so many of our own memories as The Bright family. And if I don't slow down and try really hard to pay attention to what's going on now, I will spend the rest of my life waiting for the next thing to happen even though I have so many beautiful things already happening. I hate to use this cliché, but I really have to stop and smell the roses.

Weekend Bits & Pieces

What a busy past few weeks!! We are so blessed to have such good friends and family. We've gotten to hang out with some very special friends, see some out of town family, and lots more.


Last weekend, Tanner got his second win on the Downeast Amateur Golf Tour. Isn't he handsome?? Not to mention his trophy makes a great candy dish! I couldn't be more proud :)

Eastern NC has gotten some serious rain the past couple of weeks and what better way to spend a rainy Saturday than shopping? I got to spend all day with my mom and my two favorite girls in Raleigh. I found some major deals in Charming Charlie at Triangle Town Center.

 Wednesday night youth group has been deemed as "service night". This past week's service project was taking cards and cookies to various members of the community to show appreciation. First we hit up the hospital nurse's stations then we went to both fire stations in town. Everyone was extremely grateful, and the firemen even gave us a quick tour of the new station. It's amazing how much fun you can have spreading God's love.

 

 

 

Friday night we got to celebrate our friend, and my cousin, Kimberly's birthday with some pretty special people. We went to Sappari Japanese Steakhouse and, as always, the food was great and I ate way too much.

 

Saturday morning was full of errands as we awaited the arrival of some out of town guests. Tanner had a tournament in Clinton, NC so I got to spend the day with some of our family from Maryland and Virginia. We finally got to meet cousin Matt's girlfriend, Kellie, who we absolutely love!

Sunday after church Kimberly and I went to a baby shower and ate our weight in finger foods. There is nothing like a good veggie tray, am I right? Not to mention all of the precious tiny toys and clothes for the baby boy. Almost cute enough to make me want one...........................almost.



Too often do I stress over being so busy, and I let small worries become big problems. I get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of all the things I feel like I have to do, that sometimes I forget to enjoy the things I get to do, and it's been really great being able to spend time with friends, family and God. We are so blessed to be surrounded with so much love and we are so thankful for the life God has given us!

#blessed

Technically, there are no guidelines as to what we can and can't consider as blessings, however, I'm noticing more and more that the things people are saying their "blessed" with are material things. Forgive me, but I don't think your new Michael Kors watch is a blessing from God.

*****Disclaimer: This post is my own opinion and may sound a little harsh. And yes, it is possible to be a Christian and wealthy. End Disclaimer. *******

True Blessings:

Family
Friends
Spouse
Church Family
Jesus
Career
Significant Other
Talents
Education

Not Blessings:

New Cars
Large House
Beats headphones
David Yurman bracelet
3 karat engagement ring
Christian Louboutin heels
Good hair days
the latest iPhone
Nice boat
300 Twitter followers


Get the picture? Again, I'm not knocking being financially successful. In fact, if you used that financial success for the glory of God, then that would even be considered a blessing. You see, the problem with saying that we are blessed with material things is that we're giving the impression that unless you have these things, you are not blessed. And that's just wrong.While you consider your possessions a blessing, there are people in the world who consider just being able to wake up a huge blessing; due to the genocide going on in their country. And they would take one look at your Instagram (if they had access to the internet) and see the picture of your brand new Tiffany necklace with #blessed written underneath it and they would probably think that you were the most silly person in the entire universe and that you should go back to the Bible and see how the Lord would define a blessing.

To go even further, to consider yourself blessed because of your possessions is a form of idolatry, don't you think? If the material things we acquire make us happy, or so we seem to think in today's world, then maybe we should examine our hearts and rearrange our priorities. Think about Job. His wealth, his children, his health, his home. He lost it all. If we lost literally everything, but we still had God, we would still be blessed.

And because he still counted his blessings, even when it didn't seem like he had any, God blessed him with even more than he had before.

So, to conclude, count your blessings often, but be mindful of what is truly a blessing.

How to Send Out an "I'm a Jerk" Signal

Can I just rant for a minute??

Everyone has their pet peeves. Their list of things they absolutely cannot tolerate. I, myself, have several of them, but there is one specifically that I feel the need to rant to you about today.

The closest I've ever come to working in fast food was when I worked at a family member's bakery for a few months in college. Most of the time it wasn't too bad, but on holidays like Valentines Day things could get a little crazy. I was fortunate enough to have never been actually yelled at by a customer, but I have experienced bad attitudes and rude remarks. I also worked at a hotel for 2 years and if you think people are funny about their food, they're even worse about where they sleep. We kept things under control most of the time, but every now and then we'd accidentally check someone into a room where the bed was unmade or give them 2 queen beds when they specifically asked for 1 king on the 2nd level not near the parking lot or street lights. Things could get ugly pretty quickly, but that particular guest would leave eventually and things would continue as normal.

Needless to say, I have a history in the service industry. I have used every customer service line there is from "I will personally make sure I take care of this issue for you" to "I agree, our prices are a little high, let me see what kind of discount I can offer you. Even in the job I do now, when a customer calls with a problem they expect me to solve,  I really do try my best. But I recently saw something that really made me mad.

I was creeping on Facebook as I so often do, and someone on my news feed posted a paragraph long complaint about how their fast food wasn't exactly the way they ordered it. Now, here's the thing I don't get about people who complain about fast food. For one, it's called fast food. You chose that drive thru because it was quick. You wanted your food in less than 10 minutes. So how can you be but so upset if your order is altered a little? To be sure you're not the only one at the whole restaurant. And after all, we're humans. We make mistakes. So maybe we should be a little more forgiving when the 16yr old working the drive thru to put gas in his car is doing his best. Not to mention you're only paying about $5 for it. You get what you pay for, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Are there exceptions? Of course. But is it really all that necessary for you to park, go inside, demand to see a manager and get your food free just to make the point that your order was wrong and someone made a mistake? No. If you really want quality food prepared especially for you, then buy your own groceries and cook your own food.

This also goes for everyone who feels the need to be rude to wait-staff at a regular restaurant. How you speak to a waiter says a lot about you, and when you make a huge scene about your steak being medium when it was supposed to be medium-well, you look like the jerk, not the restaurant. There's nothing wrong with sending your food back, after all, you are paying for it. But there is a right way to do it, and there's a very wrong way to do it. Be discrete, be polite and understand that mix ups happen. Don't have an attitude, say you're never coming back again, or expect a discount, unless you want the restaurant's chef to treat your food like you're in the movie Waiting (you don't). And also, don't post about it on social media. Let everyone form their own opinions please, plus it just makes you look stupid.

You're welcome.

Not So Bright, Recently

Ok, guys, coming at you from a long overdue period of no posts (again).

 

Last time you heard from me I was basking in what was my brand new marriage. We have now been married almost 3 months, and I have just one thing to say:

 

Anyone who says marriage is easy, is lying.

 

In a card someone gave us on our wedding day, the inside read that marriage would be the hardest, yet most rewarding, thing you'll ever do. Those words could not be more true. Marriage is hard, ya'll. I can't say it enough. 

 

Now, you're all probably thinking "you've only been married 3 months and you're already having problems? Won't last long then..." but don't misread what I'm saying. I still love it. It's still fun. It's still a big sleepover, most of the time. But lately, things have been rough. And it's mostly, if not fully, my fault. You see, women do this thing where when we're frustrated we take it out on the people we love the most. And, more often than not, the thing we're frustrated about is something that we can't even control. So here's a few examples of what we've been dealing with in the Bright household:

 

Car issues - A few weeks ago, my car broke down in the middle of town. Dead, nothing, not a movement. We finally figured out that the pulley from the oil pump broke off, causing the timing belt to jump, which, in English for those of you who don't speak car, is VERY BAD. We were faced with the choice of a new engine or a new car. Neither of which are in our newlywed budget.

 

House issues - I've said this before, and I'll say it again, I am a creature of habit and plan. I have to have a plan for everything. And I am very slowly learning the lesson that things almost never go as planned. Upon approaching Tanner with the mindset that we needed a 5 year plan and to immediately discuss when we will buy a house and where, and going to see a few houses, then realizing we could never afford these houses, I launched myself into a full blown stress-fueled meltdown. I'm telling you guys, I have been the biggest monster the past few weeks.

 

Vacation Bible School - Anyone who has ever been involved with Vacation Bible School knows that it is probably one of the biggest events of the year for a church. And you know that it can be incredibly stressful. Mom and I have taken on the teens again this year, and while this can also be extremely rewarding, it's a job in itself.

 

Financial Adjustments - Upon my car breaking down, I realized that we need a much larger emergency fund. But instead of being a normal, calm person, I threw myself into a panic and assaulted my dear husband with graphs, spreadsheets and statistics that only showed him how bad we are at saving money. This was, yet again, a bad move on my part. I'm pretty sure that if he ever hears the words "We need to talk about money" again he'll pack his things and go live in the Pro Shop at the country club.

 

Volleyball - As if I didn't have enough planned, I decided to coach for a new volleyball league our town is hosting. My team is a group of 13-15 girls who have either never played, or think they're Misty May-Treanor. There is no in between. Thanks to the moms who think their daughters are stars, and the eye-rolling and general laziness, I will begin praying that I have only sons should Tanner and I ever have children. (Again, I'm being dramatic. The girls aren't really so bad.)

 

Church - One of my first blog posts was about my home church. We were going through some things, and as much as I wish I could say it's gotten better, it hasn't. This has been a huge issue for Tanner and I, and one that we're still working through.

 

I go into detail about all of this not to whine, or make it seem like my life is harder than others. It's more or less a therapy, and it's also to give you some insight as how to not do marriage. Through all of this, I've gotten so wrapped up in my "struggles" that I have completely forgotten to thank God for everything he's blessed me with. So here's a list of the things I am thankful for from the past month:

 

-Family being close by to car pool with, and even let me drive their cars (thanks, Mom!)

-My husband for being SO, SO, SO patient with me, and gently telling me that I need to chill out and that not everything is about me, and that I need a major attitude adjustment

-The sweetest mother-in-law who does everything she can for just about anybody without an agenda or expectations

-My dad for always promising to do what he can

-Our landlords for always answering their phone, should we ever need anything

-The house we have that protected us from that crazy storm Friday night

-The company I work for, for letting me have an extremely flexible schedule

-Good friends, who let me vent and cry to them just about any time I need

-Ray's Hydraulics who have promised they can fix my engine without buying a new one

-My stepdad for letting us use his washing machine and dryer

-Our crazy cat

-Some of our church family that always have an encouraging thing to say

-The Gillis men who seem to know everything about anything with a motor and wheels

-God for giving us this crazy, wonderful life that we get to share for the rest of our lives

 

And so, so many more.

 

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."  So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5-6  

Again, I've been a most unpleasant person to deal with recently, and for that I am sorry. Why is it that it takes such a bad thing (or things) to happen for us to realize how good we have it?

 

 

 

 

 

The Life

When I graduated high school, my youth group attended a conference called Project X at Peace College in Raleigh. There was a guest speaker there who had a great message. To open, he went through the audience and asked a few people why they were Christians or why they believed in God. The answers varied from "I just always have" to "I don't know what else to believe", but they all basically said the same thing: I don't know. The speaker then went on to tell us his answer, which was something that I've always remembered. When asked why he was a Christian, his response was "I am a Christian because I believe that Jesus Christ offers the best life possible". At the time, I didn't get it. I thought it was kind of obvious. I thought it was going to be some profound reasoning that would make me and the rest of the audience have light bulbs suddenly appear over our heads and pop on. I thought it was just another Sunday School answer. 

But then life happened. And I made some bad choices. I didn't talk to God and I didn't want to. And my life fell apart. I was miserable because I was empty, and searching for something missing. It wasn't that I didn't believe, I just got selfish. It was like I totally forgot that if I just did things God's way, life was pretty good. But being the stubborn person that I am it took me 3 years to figure this out. 

So after my life was basically turned upside down and I had no other options, it was back to God I went running. And things got better. And better. And I remembered what the speaker at Project X said. Jesus Christ offers the best life possible. He was so right. But what is a good life anyway? 

Some may consider a good life one in which you have all things you've ever wanted. The house, the car, the kids, the pool, the clothes, the boat, the job, etc. But the life that I'm talking about is way better than that. The good life I'm referring to is one where I have bad hair days, my clothes don't fit, rent is late, my check engine light is on, plans get cancelled and I have a nice meltdown. But then I get to talk to God. And I look around at my friends and family and Tanner and can't help but feel like I am the richest person in the world. It's when I catch a sunset that catches my breath in return. Or when I laugh with my mom until I can't breathe and my stomach hurts. Or fishing trips with my dad when we don't catch a single thing except a sunburn. It's when I remember that this life is not the end at all. But just a small speck of what is to be, after I get to leave this troubled world. That, to me, is the best life possible. 

1 Month Down

In an effort to make polite conversation at the grocery store or bank, people often ask me the same question, "So, how's married life?" I usually give a variation of this answer (sorry): "He plays golf a little more, but other than that it's pretty good." And I smile and continue to run errands. I guess, if you've asked me and genuinely would like to know, I'll give you a little insight to the past month of our sometimes crazy, yet mostly boring life together.

First and foremost, marriage is FUN. There is no one else on this Earth that can make me laugh like Tanner can and I whole-heartedly appreciate that he has no reservations about being completely stupid and silly with me. So far, marriage is pretty much like having a continuous sleepover with someone who is willing to do the guy part of the duet for whatever song you're singing at that moment, and occasionally adding in his own lyrics just to make you laugh, then cooking you pancakes and maybe even adding chocolate chips to yours because he knows you love anything and everything chocolate.

But marriage is also fun in the sense that you can both sit on the couch watching endless episodes of Cops Reloaded while eating Oreos and not say a word to each other for an hour and still being completely happy just because you know that person is there enjoying it just as much as you are.

Secondly, although we've only been married a month, I'm already learning the very, very, very, very hard lesson of compromise. Who knew there were so many other ways to do things than how your mom taught you (i.e. folding towels, washing dishes, etc)? And just as important as the time is that you spend together, is that you have some time apart. Tanner is a great golfer. He recently won his first tournament, and I couldn't be more proud. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little jealous sometimes when he leaves on Saturday mornings. Sometimes I even feel like he's being selfish by leaving me alone all day, when the weekend is only 2 days long and he knows we won't see each other until Saturday evening. But then I have to think back to all of those marriage articles I've read, reminding me that marriage is not about me at all. And it isn't Tanner's job to make me happy. And that what really makes me happy is when he's happy, like last weekend when he won his first tournament. Seeing how proud and confident he was after winning was worth not seeing him until that night. Not to mention his trophy is making a great candy dish in our living room right now.

Thirdly, yes, we've had our first fight. It was really hard and I cried and he got mad. I'm not a person who believes a good relationship has no arguments, but I'm not someone who believes you have to argue to have a good relationship. I believe that there should be a healthy balance. I know we're going to argue and maybe get in an occasional fight, but as long as we have boundaries, like not insulting each other just to hurt that person, or going to bed angry, I think we'll be just fine.

 

 

 

 

Impromptu Fro Yo Date
 

Bloggin' Basics

By no means am I a professional at blogging, I'm actually still very new. I don't have a custom layout, I don't have cool pictures and by no means do I have a life interesting enough to consistently blog about, but I do it because I enjoy it. Whenever I plug a new post onto Facebook or Twitter, people always say " I've always wanted to blog, but I just don't know where to start" or "I don't really have anything to blog about". These 2 statements couldn't be farther from the truth. 1. The setup is extremely easy. 2. EVERYONE has something to say. No matter how boring you think your life is, I promise someone will find it interesting. And even if they don't, you aren't blogging for anyone else but yourself. Blogging can be a kind of therapy, it shouldn't be something you do just for others. With that being said, there are tons of great blogging websites, here's a few for starters:


BlogSpot or Blogger (same thing, this is what I'm using right now)
Bloglovin'
Tumblr ( a little weird, less formal way of blogging)
Xanga (yes, this still exists)


Most of these are pretty user friendly, just pick which one you'd like to house your blog. After you've chosen which site you'd like to use, you'll create an account. If you use Gmail, I'd suggest going with BlogSpot, because it's directly linked to Gmail and Google+, which makes it really easy to navigate to your blog. Next, you'll create a name for your blog. Make it fun, make it simple. Once you've done this, you'll most likely want to change the look of your blog. The website you choose will most likely have some templates you can play around with, but there are countless websites dedicated to making some really cool layouts. The website I'm using right now is The Cutest Blog on the Block. They have some really cute options. Once you've got the look, you can customize your blog with special links. If you want people to know more about you, I'd suggest an About Me page and maybe even links to other social networks like Twitter, Instagram, etc. Or if you want to remain completely private or anonymous you can do that, too. Once you've got it all set up, you're ready to blog.


Your first post can be about anything you'd like. This is your blog. You can post absolutely anything you want. If you want to dedicate your blog to cats with sweaters you can do that. If you want to have a One Direction fandom blog, you're allowed. Your blog is your oyster and you can write about anything your heart desires. Be creative, be fun and most of all, be honest.

How to Plan a Wedding in 2 Weeks (And not break the bank!)

Impossible, right? Think again, because it's totally possible.....IF (and that's a big one) you don't mind simple. 3 weeks ago, my lovely then-fiancé Tanner and I decided that a large, complicated, drawn out wedding with 150+ guests and engagement parties, bridal luncheons and the whole shebang just wasn't what we wanted. It wasn't us.


Now, before I continue, let me clarify that I love large weddings. I love all of the elaborate detail and decorating that goes into them, and the thoughtfulness of each event.  I love looking at the bridesmaids dresses and hair and jewelry and all of that. However, when it came to my own personal wedding, I just wanted it to be stress free and as easy as possible. I wanted it to be intimate, and I didn't want to have to worry about making sure that I spoke to each one of my 300 guests as well as lugging a big, white sack of tulle around. Although I may not seem like it, I'm actually pretty low-maintenance. Hard to believe, I know.


Anyway, so we'd planned to go to the beach this past weekend for Tanner's birthday. And we decided that it would be a perfect time for everyone to come down to Nags Head and watch us jump the broom, tie the knot, take the plunge, or whatever you wanna call it, provided that we could find a venue, get a caterer, hire a minister, invite everyone and hope they had no plans, get a dress, get flowers, centerpieces, a cake, hotel reservations, a DJ, photographer and transportation all in 14 days.




An accurate representation of how we felt the 2 weeks prior to the wedding...

Since the ceremony would be on the beach and would require little to no decorations, I decided to start with the venue for the reception. While browsing the web I stumbled upon a restaurant called Mulligan's, which is a raw oyster bar and grille, and also had a separate elevated covered porch for small receptions and dinner parties. PERFECT. I called and left a message, hoping and praying that they wouldn't be booked.  I heard back from Shannon, the catering director, the next day and she vowed to make it happen for us. Since it was off season for tourists, she gave me a major hook up, not charging me for the venue, but only for the food and tablecloths. She helped me pick out a menu, time, and anything else I had questions with.  As it grew closer to the time of the wedding, the weather forecast didn't look so great. On the day of, we made the call to hold the ceremony inside the same place as the reception and Shannon didn't even flinch when I told her. She is an angel and without her the wedding wouldn't have been possible.

An inside look at Mulligan's covered porch...

My favorite boys!
 

Next, we needed a minister. I thought it'd be much easier to get a minister from that area, because if we had any last minute changes they know the area and could adapt better than someone from out of town. This was not smart. Beach ministers are EXPENSIVE. We opted for a long time family friend who attends our church and is an ordained minister. It was much more personal that way.

 Cupcake Connoisseur....

And Ordained Minister

                                                      

Now, I needed a dress. After my family got over the shock of a wedding in what was now 13 days, we went into super wedding mode, especially my mom. SHE ROCKED. That Saturday we took a day trip to Raleigh with my grandma, aunt, and cousin and I bought the second dress I tried on. It was actually an Easter dress; short with lace sleeves. Perfect for a beach wedding, I thought. Dress? Check. And it was under $50.

As for the DJ, we had planned just to use Pandora, but Tanner's dad actually knew a DJ from the area. His name is Billy Rainey (sp?) and if you need someone in Eastern NC, I highly recommend him. He did a really great job, especially having never met any of us before. He even sang us a song! He had a great selection and range of music.

The only flowers we had were the ones in my bouquet, Tanner's boutonnière and my dad's boutonnière. Tanner's aunt, who can only be defined as FAB (her favorite word in the English-slang dictionary) really came through with those. They were simple, yet beautiful.

Calla lilies and Seashells

My mom's best friend, Tammy, had done some pictures of my brother and I for a surprise for my mom's birthday a few years ago, and since she was going to be at the wedding anyway I thought I'd offer her the chance to take pictures of the day also. As usual, she did an amazing job.  We also found these wooden props at Michael's Crafts for about $1.99 each. We painted them ourselves and I think they were a fun touch...I know of one little boy who really loved them.

Hotel rates were not too bad, because it was off-season. That cut a major expense. I would recommend asking for a block of rooms if you can estimate about how many you'll need. The hotel may give you a little discount.



Tanner's sister, Alli, recommended a cake decorator and boy, was she a hit. We opted for cupcakes and I sent her a picture of some that I found on Pinterest. They were delicious. And looked wonderful. I'm still thinking about them. Her name is Amy Sugg and she's based out of Winterville, NC. You can find her on Facebook.

Centerpieces - possibly the most time consuming part of the planning process. We chose some really simple ones (no surprise there), however trying to figure out how many tables we needed was a little tough. Luckily, we bought an extra of each thing, and it turned out that we had just enough for each table. Most of the supplies were purchased at Michaels craft store.



I'm sure there's something I left out, but I wanted to get this post up quickly so I wouldn't forget anything. I'd like to say a huge THANK YOU to each and every person who helped, even in the smallest of ways. Everyone who came made our special day even more special and we wouldn't have changed anything.

For more pics you can visit my Facebook page by clicking HERE

The Obsession with Marriage

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't lose an embarrassing number of hours on Facebook each day. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a creep and a class A Stalker. Each day as I'm browsing my news feed, skipping over the boring stuff ( if I see one more picture of a fake "Jesus" asking me to declare my faith by liking or sharing a picture I'm gonna lose it), it never fails that there is an article on marriage that has gone viral. These articles have become more and more frequent, and while there are some good ones out there, whether the title is "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Married" or "Confessions of a Teenage Bride", they're all rebutting to the same debate: What is the appropriate age of marriage?


I'll also admit that I read almost all of these articles. And instead of being inspired to right my own rebuttal, I'm just left wondering why there's such a battle going on between marrying young or old? What is the obsession with marrying at 21? What is the obsession with marrying at 35?  Is it because successful marriages seem so far and few between that as a generation we're searching for some secret piece of advice to make our marriages work? And because there are so many things in our lives and culture that we have to be "of age" to do, have we lumped marriage into that category also?


I understand that a lot of this has to do with where we're raised. People in the South tend to want to marry young, so they can start a family young and so on. I've noticed that people in the North like to wait, so they can establish their careers and then add marriage to the mix. People in the West (California, I'm talking to you) just do whatever they want and may live with 6 random people for the rest of their lives or in the desert by themselves with nothing but a camper and a thong. I do realize that this blanket statement doesn't apply to all people, there are exceptions to every rule, and I don't mean to offend anyone.


All in all, I just don't get it. Does it really matter what age someone gets married? If you want to be married at 16 (and it's legal in your state) then do it. If you want to be married at 45 then adopt a kid from each continent, please do it. There's no need to bash others because they're doing what they think is best for them. Just because you don't think giving up hangovers and glitter in places you didn't even know glitter could get is worth being a wife doesn't mean other women don't. And just because you don't want to have laugh lines and crows feet on your wedding day doesn't mean that other women wouldn't cherish those in their wedding photos. There's no one else who dictates your marriage more than the people who are in it, so marry when you want. Marry 2 months or 20 years after meeting someone. As long as you feel in your heart that you're doing what God has planned for you, no one else matters.

Confession Time

The struggle bus. We've all ridden it. Sometimes, on a particularly rough day, we may even be driving it. I've been hitching a ride lately and plopping myself down in the Gossip seat. I recently realized that I have a terrible habit of gossiping. Whenever I hear or see something that causes a stir, I just HAVE to tell my 2 best friends. And my mom. And my fiancé. And anyone else who may be around/related to the situation. It's a sickness, really. A lot of times we get gossip confused with sharing news, or passing the word along. A lot of times I try to compensate gossip with saying that I'm "just letting you know". Or that "I didn't want you to find out from someone else". Or my personal southern favorite, "Now this is just here say but..."

Coming from a HUGE family with lots and lots of women, gossip is just what you did. Every Wednesday when my brother and I were small, my mom would go to a quilting circle (no we're not Amish) with my grandmother and her sisters and their daughters. Colton and I would sit under the quilt and play with whatever old toys we could find at Aunt Odell's and listen to the women spill. That is how I learned the gift of gab. It doesn't help that we live in a small, Southern town. If you're pregnant, we know about it. If you're getting divorced, we know who your lawyer is probably going to be before you pick him.

Why is gossip so wrong, especially if what we're saying is true? Gossip is wrong because of what we intend to do with it. When we gossip about someone's struggles or trials, we're ultimately doing it to make ourselves feel better. Proverbs 24:17 says Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice..." As Christians, it is our duty to love and be there for others, even people who are not Christians, because that's what Jesus would have done.

Gossiping is easy for me because I love being current on all things. I delight in knowing that I am the first person to be aware of a certain situation, which probably stems from my being extremely competitive. But I can't count the times that I've stuck my foot in my mouth gossiping to the wrong person. It's not a great feeling when you gossip about someone to another person and their response is "that's my cousin". In these cases, I mentally kick myself in the butt and wish that I had a better hold on my tongue. The Bible mentions taming our tongues several times. It puts a huge emphasis on our mouths and the things that come out of it. Another verse from Proverbs says A fool’s mouth is his ruin,  and his lips are a snare to his soul.  The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;  they go down into the inner parts of the body. (18:7-8).

As of today, I'm getting off of the struggle bus regarding Gossip. I pray that God can help remind me to keep my mouth shut when I hear information that should be private or could be embarrassing.

Losing a Loved One

She once was home, a place I visited weekly to grow and create some of the best memories I have. She was full of love, happiness and laughter. She was beautiful, inside and out, always manicured, always pure. Her steeple stood tall, as a beacon for all who fell to sin. Her name was spoken with pride, to which others nodded in fondness. Her brick walls stood as firm as her inhabitants' faith; never wavering, always growing. She echoed songs sung to the Heavens, and sermons spoken with such fervor and truth. That has long since past, and she has grown cold and harsh. Her arms no longer outstretch to visitors, her name now often followed by a shaking of the head or rolling eyes. Her insides have grown judgmental and cruel. Her traditions wear her out, making her uninviting to those around. She is my church and She is dying.

I came to a harsh realization last night. I attend a dying church. A church filled with politics and traditions, when it should be filled with mercy, love and Christian truth. I attend a church where you are expected to volunteer for everything until you are approximately 45 years old, then you are allowed to sit on the pew for the rest of your life. Not just any pew, however. Your pew. The same pew you and your family have warmed for the last 50 years.  But be wary, you must only volunteer for something that has been done before. Do not, by any means, introduce a new idea. And, if anything, please, please do not suggest that we end any outstanding traditions. Because, after all, if we've done it for the past 100 years, it must be right.....right?

I am angry, frustrated, embarrassed but above all, discouraged. I am burning out and that is a tough
feeling. I feel my faith shriveling, like a big, juicy grape to a small raisin. It is not easy for me to wake up and go to church on Sundays. Not because I want to sleep longer, but because I know that when I get to church it will be exactly the same as the past 20 years. People will come, people will sit, people will leave. There is no urgency there. There is no fire. There is no passion for what we, as Christians, are called to do. As a result, I have been left with the following question:

How long do I sacrifice spiritual growth to honor loyalty?

Yes, I could leave. I could wake up on Sunday Morning and go to another church. I've actually tried, already. But the whole time all I could think of was my home church. Of how there is this beautiful sanctuary, begging to be filled by new faces. Maybe it's because I am a fixer. I fix things and I organize things. And I truly believe that things can be made right. I just wish there were more than a few of us who felt this way. I'm not naïve enough to think that a church shouldn't have any problems. Where there is more than 1 person, there will be disagreements. But a church shouldn't have these problems.

Cake Pops!

For Christmas, my mom surprised me with a BabyCakes cake pop maker. I love to bake, and I have an obsession with cake pops from Starbucks so I was so excited when I unwrapped this little gem. While doing some laundry and regular Saturday cleaning, I thought I'd give the BabyCakes a shot. It was way easier than I thought it would be, although I must say the hardest part is the dipping. Here's a photo sequence of how it went! 

So the instructions were pretty clear, but I just wanted to be sure I did everything right so I looked up some YouTube videos before I started. 

The instructions came with some recipes for cake made from scratch but I thought I'd take the easy route and just buy a cake mix from the grocery store. This worked fine, but I now know that the reason the instructions provide recipes is because it makes a much smaller batch than a regular cake mix. I got probably 100 cake pops out of 1 cake mix. 

So once you mix the batter you put some in each reservoir (it makes a dozen at a time) then close the top of the baker. The instructions suggested 1 tablespoon in each reservoir but as you can see, that was a little bit too much. I ended up putting the batter in a Ziploc bag and cutting the corner off so I could use it like a decorating bag to fill each reservoir. That worked much better. After closing the lid, it only takes about 2-4 mins for each batch to cook. 

Once they cool, which doesn't take long, you just take your melted coating (I just used Candy Melts from the Wedding Cake section of Wal-Mart) and dip each stick in it. 

Then, you put the stick into the pop and put the tray into the freezer. They should stay in for at least 7-10 minutes. If you rush your pops will come off of the stick when you dip them, and that's no fun. :( 

Once your sticks are good and stuck you just carefully dip your cake pops in the coating of your choice. 

Once they're all dipped you put them in the freezer until they're nice and hard then enjoy! I ended up completing about 50. I took them to work on Monday and the guys loved them! 

I ran out of coating so I couldn't do all of the pops I had made. I put the extras in a bag and stuck them in the freezer until I can pick up some more sticks and Candy Melts. 

All in all, this was super fun!! I can't wait to do more so I can be a little creative. This is way easier than an Easy Bake Oven or anything like that, so if you know a kid or even an adult that loves to bake this would be a great gift.