Losing a Loved One

She once was home, a place I visited weekly to grow and create some of the best memories I have. She was full of love, happiness and laughter. She was beautiful, inside and out, always manicured, always pure. Her steeple stood tall, as a beacon for all who fell to sin. Her name was spoken with pride, to which others nodded in fondness. Her brick walls stood as firm as her inhabitants' faith; never wavering, always growing. She echoed songs sung to the Heavens, and sermons spoken with such fervor and truth. That has long since past, and she has grown cold and harsh. Her arms no longer outstretch to visitors, her name now often followed by a shaking of the head or rolling eyes. Her insides have grown judgmental and cruel. Her traditions wear her out, making her uninviting to those around. She is my church and She is dying.

I came to a harsh realization last night. I attend a dying church. A church filled with politics and traditions, when it should be filled with mercy, love and Christian truth. I attend a church where you are expected to volunteer for everything until you are approximately 45 years old, then you are allowed to sit on the pew for the rest of your life. Not just any pew, however. Your pew. The same pew you and your family have warmed for the last 50 years.  But be wary, you must only volunteer for something that has been done before. Do not, by any means, introduce a new idea. And, if anything, please, please do not suggest that we end any outstanding traditions. Because, after all, if we've done it for the past 100 years, it must be right.....right?

I am angry, frustrated, embarrassed but above all, discouraged. I am burning out and that is a tough
feeling. I feel my faith shriveling, like a big, juicy grape to a small raisin. It is not easy for me to wake up and go to church on Sundays. Not because I want to sleep longer, but because I know that when I get to church it will be exactly the same as the past 20 years. People will come, people will sit, people will leave. There is no urgency there. There is no fire. There is no passion for what we, as Christians, are called to do. As a result, I have been left with the following question:

How long do I sacrifice spiritual growth to honor loyalty?

Yes, I could leave. I could wake up on Sunday Morning and go to another church. I've actually tried, already. But the whole time all I could think of was my home church. Of how there is this beautiful sanctuary, begging to be filled by new faces. Maybe it's because I am a fixer. I fix things and I organize things. And I truly believe that things can be made right. I just wish there were more than a few of us who felt this way. I'm not naïve enough to think that a church shouldn't have any problems. Where there is more than 1 person, there will be disagreements. But a church shouldn't have these problems.

Cake Pops!

For Christmas, my mom surprised me with a BabyCakes cake pop maker. I love to bake, and I have an obsession with cake pops from Starbucks so I was so excited when I unwrapped this little gem. While doing some laundry and regular Saturday cleaning, I thought I'd give the BabyCakes a shot. It was way easier than I thought it would be, although I must say the hardest part is the dipping. Here's a photo sequence of how it went! 

So the instructions were pretty clear, but I just wanted to be sure I did everything right so I looked up some YouTube videos before I started. 

The instructions came with some recipes for cake made from scratch but I thought I'd take the easy route and just buy a cake mix from the grocery store. This worked fine, but I now know that the reason the instructions provide recipes is because it makes a much smaller batch than a regular cake mix. I got probably 100 cake pops out of 1 cake mix. 

So once you mix the batter you put some in each reservoir (it makes a dozen at a time) then close the top of the baker. The instructions suggested 1 tablespoon in each reservoir but as you can see, that was a little bit too much. I ended up putting the batter in a Ziploc bag and cutting the corner off so I could use it like a decorating bag to fill each reservoir. That worked much better. After closing the lid, it only takes about 2-4 mins for each batch to cook. 

Once they cool, which doesn't take long, you just take your melted coating (I just used Candy Melts from the Wedding Cake section of Wal-Mart) and dip each stick in it. 

Then, you put the stick into the pop and put the tray into the freezer. They should stay in for at least 7-10 minutes. If you rush your pops will come off of the stick when you dip them, and that's no fun. :( 

Once your sticks are good and stuck you just carefully dip your cake pops in the coating of your choice. 

Once they're all dipped you put them in the freezer until they're nice and hard then enjoy! I ended up completing about 50. I took them to work on Monday and the guys loved them! 

I ran out of coating so I couldn't do all of the pops I had made. I put the extras in a bag and stuck them in the freezer until I can pick up some more sticks and Candy Melts. 

All in all, this was super fun!! I can't wait to do more so I can be a little creative. This is way easier than an Easy Bake Oven or anything like that, so if you know a kid or even an adult that loves to bake this would be a great gift. 

When "Opposites Attract" Doesn't Apply

We've all heard the phrase "Opposites Attract" when describing a couple that doesn't seem like they  should fit, but somehow, they work. There are tons of couples like this that are considered opposites for different reasons; such as taste in music, clothing, one is loud and outspoken, the other is quiet and shy, etc. Difference of opinion & discussion in a relationship is healthy. However, there are a few topics I feel that each person in the relationship should agree on, no matter what.

The 4 Things You Should Agree with Your Partner On:

Religion
As a Christian, I am fully committed to serving the Lord. I mess up, daily, but I'm working at it, and plan to for the rest of my life. I understand that this world doesn't compare to the one after it, and that the real goal is not wealth, status or popularity, but working to achieve eternal life and sharing the good news with anyone I can. I couldn't imagine making a promise to someone who doesn't agree with me on those things. After making a promise to God that I would devote my life to him, how can I make another lifelong promise to my husband if he doesn't support the previous one?

Politics
I'm not just talking about whether you're a Republican or Democrat. I believe that one of each could be married and be happy. I'm talking about whether you agree on major issues, such as abortion, gay rights or homosexuality in general, military, etc. I feel like you and your partner should agree on these things because all of these things could potentially affect you and your family in the future. If you don't agree on these things, at least be aware of what your partner's stance is before investing a lot of time in the relationship. Chances are, if they disagree with you and it becomes an issue, you won't be able to change their mind, no matter how long you've been together.

Marriage & Children
To me, these two go hand in hand. I don't suggest bringing these up on the first date, you don't want to look too eager, but before you invest more than 6 months with this person, know where they stand on these topics. If they don't want to get married and you do, then they aren't right for you. If they don't want to be married "anytime soon" ask them where they see themselves in 5 or 10 years. It's similar with children. He doesn't need to want children right away, just be sure that he's open to the option if that's something you want. Or, if you don't want children or can't have children, these are things your partner needs to be aware of. Also, discuss the methods of the way you'd like your kids to be raised. If one person believes in tough love and spankings while the other believes in rewards and encouragement, you may have some rocky times ahead. See if you can come up with some strategies of compromise, that include both parenting styles.

What do you guys think? Do these matter to you? Are there others that you feel are more important?

The List: Knowing What You Want in a Partner

When I was in high school I was in an all girls Sunday School class. Our teacher's name was Mrs. Lulu and since there were only girls in the class, we talked a lot about dating and marriage. One Sunday Mrs. Lulu gave each of us a piece of paper and asked us to describe the perfect man. She wanted us to be extremely specific, down to hair color and height (I've always been partial to green eyes and a tan complexion, and a little taller than me, but not too tall, ya know?) . Being 16 and boy crazy, we had no problem fulfilling this task. Our lists went down one side of the paper and back up the other, some even had to use the back. Once we were done we took turns reading our lists out loud. What I thought was just a fun exercise was actually some of the best dating advice I've ever gotten. Mrs. Lulu told us to never settle for anything less than what was on that list. If a guy was missing even just 1 of the traits we wrote down, forget him. Don't go on a second date. Don't even go on a first if you know he doesn't meet your requirements. We thought she was insane, and there was no way we would ever find these men we'd just dreamed up. I tucked my list in that Sunday's bulletin and didn't give it much thought after that. She did have a point though, why waste your time with someone who doesn't make the cut?

The List! 

2 years ago I went on a date with a guy. I was sunburned and we went to a terrible restaurant. His truck was old and I was overdressed. Despite the most awkward first date of my life, I had a great time. That night on the way back to my house I remembered the list. I started going through it, mentally checking off each trait and requirement this new guy fulfilled. Once I got home I dug through my things and found the list. One by one, I checked each item off. When I was finished I looked down in disbelief. There was not a single requirement he didn't meet, including the green eyes and tan complexion.

I guess the moral of this long-winded story/advice column is to be sure of what you want and don't settle until you get it. If you are patient and confident that God will bring you someone when He knows you are ready, then He will. But first, you have to have a list.

Year in Review

I realize I haven't blogged in a while, admittedly, I'd lost the fire. But with Christmas over and a brand new year here, I feel a little revamped and ready to go! I thought I'd start with a typical Year in Review type post...

2013 was by far the hardest year of my life, yet the most rewarding. A lot of things changed for me this year; good and bad.

Losing my grandfather in May was really tough on my family and I. It's been almost 8 months now, and sometimes it feels like a fresh wound, but others it feels like a dream I had a really long time ago. I'm just thankful God blessed me and my fam with a huge support team. We could never thank our church for the support they showed us during that time.

On January 7, 2013 I began my first full time job. On December 7, 2013 I left that job. I had mixed feelings about leaving and  because I hadn't even been there a year I was worried it would make me look like a job hopper, but after weighing the pros and cons of leaving or staying, I decided to take the risk. I have no doubt I made the right choice. I love my new job.

Those are just 2 major changes in my life from this past year, the rest I'd like to keep close to my heart and maybe I'll save them for another post. 2013 was the year of learning for me. I learned some important, yet extremely hard, lessons. For Example.....

There is nothing wrong with being "normal". When I was young I dreamed of bright lights and skyscrapers. My mom and Co. have sat through countless performances from plays and musicals to choir concerts to impromptu living room talent shows and much more. We expected that by age 21 I'd be in New York on Broadway or about to release my 2nd studio album. I was determined to flee the small town scene and become a STAR. Somewhere in my journey to stardom, I realized I wasn't going to be famous. I wasn't going to be bombarded by paparazzi when I went to the grocery store. I would probably not have to rush to the airport in Paris to make a fashion show in Dubai where Beyonce was holding my front row seat. Not because I couldn't, I just didn't want to. I realized that I kinda liked this small town thing. Actually, I kinda love it. Now, I dream a much different dream. A house outside of city limits but close to a small, country church. 2 kids who track mud in on the carpet after I just vacuumed. A husband who loves God just as much as I do, and maybe even more. And I'm totally fine with that.

Perfection doesn't exist. Some of the best Christians I know are ones that haven't always been Christian. Or the ones that really "messed up" and it took something tragic or drastic to bring them back to Christ. When I was a kid I went to camp every summer. As I got older, I gained more and more respect for the counselors that were there year after year. One year, a counselor named Scott shared his story. He told us how as a teen he drank, did drugs, had sex and everything else. He was selfish and didn't care who he hurt. It wasn't until he got married that he realized the type of person he needed to be. This showed me that it's never too late to get on the right path and should you venture off of it, it's okay. Often times, we have a harder time forgiving ourselves than God does. That year after camp I got baptized. That was 9 years ago. This past summer I was a counselor for a particular week of camp that Scott was also counseling for. During one of our devotions with our family of campers, he taught me another important lesson. He shared with the campers that loving God is a daily choice. He compared it to marriage, admitting that some days he wakes up, rolls over and looks at his wife thinking "what am I married to??" but despite her morning breath, knotty hair and smeared makeup from the night before, he chooses to love her. I'm not sure why this resonated with me so greatly, but I think it's because as humans, we take comfort in knowing that we aren't the only ones who struggle. It also brings a sense of unity, knowing that there's no such thing as the perfect Christian, just a group of people with the same belief, working toward the same goal and ultimate reward: eternal life.

What did you learn in 2013?

Also, I forgot to mention that I actually kept a New Year's Resolution last year! 2013's goal was to go an entire year with no speeding or seat belt tickets, or any other traffic violations (I'm a little bit of a speed demon). Yay!