The Life

When I graduated high school, my youth group attended a conference called Project X at Peace College in Raleigh. There was a guest speaker there who had a great message. To open, he went through the audience and asked a few people why they were Christians or why they believed in God. The answers varied from "I just always have" to "I don't know what else to believe", but they all basically said the same thing: I don't know. The speaker then went on to tell us his answer, which was something that I've always remembered. When asked why he was a Christian, his response was "I am a Christian because I believe that Jesus Christ offers the best life possible". At the time, I didn't get it. I thought it was kind of obvious. I thought it was going to be some profound reasoning that would make me and the rest of the audience have light bulbs suddenly appear over our heads and pop on. I thought it was just another Sunday School answer. 

But then life happened. And I made some bad choices. I didn't talk to God and I didn't want to. And my life fell apart. I was miserable because I was empty, and searching for something missing. It wasn't that I didn't believe, I just got selfish. It was like I totally forgot that if I just did things God's way, life was pretty good. But being the stubborn person that I am it took me 3 years to figure this out. 

So after my life was basically turned upside down and I had no other options, it was back to God I went running. And things got better. And better. And I remembered what the speaker at Project X said. Jesus Christ offers the best life possible. He was so right. But what is a good life anyway? 

Some may consider a good life one in which you have all things you've ever wanted. The house, the car, the kids, the pool, the clothes, the boat, the job, etc. But the life that I'm talking about is way better than that. The good life I'm referring to is one where I have bad hair days, my clothes don't fit, rent is late, my check engine light is on, plans get cancelled and I have a nice meltdown. But then I get to talk to God. And I look around at my friends and family and Tanner and can't help but feel like I am the richest person in the world. It's when I catch a sunset that catches my breath in return. Or when I laugh with my mom until I can't breathe and my stomach hurts. Or fishing trips with my dad when we don't catch a single thing except a sunburn. It's when I remember that this life is not the end at all. But just a small speck of what is to be, after I get to leave this troubled world. That, to me, is the best life possible. 

1 Month Down

In an effort to make polite conversation at the grocery store or bank, people often ask me the same question, "So, how's married life?" I usually give a variation of this answer (sorry): "He plays golf a little more, but other than that it's pretty good." And I smile and continue to run errands. I guess, if you've asked me and genuinely would like to know, I'll give you a little insight to the past month of our sometimes crazy, yet mostly boring life together.

First and foremost, marriage is FUN. There is no one else on this Earth that can make me laugh like Tanner can and I whole-heartedly appreciate that he has no reservations about being completely stupid and silly with me. So far, marriage is pretty much like having a continuous sleepover with someone who is willing to do the guy part of the duet for whatever song you're singing at that moment, and occasionally adding in his own lyrics just to make you laugh, then cooking you pancakes and maybe even adding chocolate chips to yours because he knows you love anything and everything chocolate.

But marriage is also fun in the sense that you can both sit on the couch watching endless episodes of Cops Reloaded while eating Oreos and not say a word to each other for an hour and still being completely happy just because you know that person is there enjoying it just as much as you are.

Secondly, although we've only been married a month, I'm already learning the very, very, very, very hard lesson of compromise. Who knew there were so many other ways to do things than how your mom taught you (i.e. folding towels, washing dishes, etc)? And just as important as the time is that you spend together, is that you have some time apart. Tanner is a great golfer. He recently won his first tournament, and I couldn't be more proud. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little jealous sometimes when he leaves on Saturday mornings. Sometimes I even feel like he's being selfish by leaving me alone all day, when the weekend is only 2 days long and he knows we won't see each other until Saturday evening. But then I have to think back to all of those marriage articles I've read, reminding me that marriage is not about me at all. And it isn't Tanner's job to make me happy. And that what really makes me happy is when he's happy, like last weekend when he won his first tournament. Seeing how proud and confident he was after winning was worth not seeing him until that night. Not to mention his trophy is making a great candy dish in our living room right now.

Thirdly, yes, we've had our first fight. It was really hard and I cried and he got mad. I'm not a person who believes a good relationship has no arguments, but I'm not someone who believes you have to argue to have a good relationship. I believe that there should be a healthy balance. I know we're going to argue and maybe get in an occasional fight, but as long as we have boundaries, like not insulting each other just to hurt that person, or going to bed angry, I think we'll be just fine.

 

 

 

 

Impromptu Fro Yo Date