The Book that Could Save My Marriage (before it needs saving)

I've been following Danielle Butler's blog for a while now. She's actually one of the very first blogs I followed and is even one of the inspirations behind The Bright's Side. A while ago she talked about a book called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl in this blog post. It sounded like something I might be interested in so I put in on my mental To Do list. Then, about a week ago she posted on Instagram a picture of something from the book and I decided to go ahead and give it a read so I downloaded it on my iPad.


Ya'll, this book has opened my eyes and has changed my entire perspective on my marriage. I'm only on chapter 5 but so far I have gained so much from this book. I knew that I was supposed to "submit" to my husband and "honor" him and "be his crown" and all that, but I wasn't actually doing it.

 

 You see, I've been doing it all wrong so far. I've been letting my emotions and feelings control me, and whenever Tanner does something that hurts me or makes me angry, I've been handling it all wrong. Normally, if Tanner does something that upsets me, my entire mood changes. I pout or say something hurtful to him to let him know that I am not happy with him and I try to cause him pain like he's caused me. Doing this is like saying "God, I know I'm supposed to be patient and not easily angered and stuff, but this is an exception, Tanner needs to know he did something wrong so I'm going to handle this my way, and I'll handle it your way when it's a more minor offense." But the problem with that is that everything becomes an exception and you never learn to handle it God's way, only your way. You practice and practice and practice being angry and giving him the cold shoulder and learning new ways to make him feel terrible about himself all the while tearing him down and making him realize how much you don't respect him. With men, respect is key. Men feel the need to be respected like ladies feel the need to be loved and cherished. They have to have that to feel like they matter. In her book, Debi features a story about a wife that was more her husband's conscious than his help meet. When I read that story, I realized that I am the same way. I am so concerned with what Tanner's doing that when he messes up or does something I don't think he should, I feel this need to tell him what he did wrong. I feel like if I don't tell him, he might not realize he did something wrong and then he'll keep doing it. I am quickly becoming his conscious, and not his loving wife that supports him no matter what.

Maybe it's because I'm a control freak, but I'm struggling with the thought of my husband being the head of this body. I've had this idea that we are equal, that he will work hard at his job, I will work hard at my job and we will both come home and work hard with chores and dinner. But that is wrong. Tanner is not designed to be my equal. I am not designed to be his. Tanner is made to lead me and I am made to follow. I was created to help him in whatever he needs. I am here for support, love, reverence and whatever else he needs me to be. There are not 2 leading roles in a marriage. There is 1. Tanner gets that role and I am the supporting role and I am trying really hard to accept that. Our culture has taught us that we should fight for equality in marriages and that each partner should be equal, but God says otherwise. God's plan for women is to help and support the husband, to be merry, joyful and thankful at all times.

There are so many other lessons I've learned already but this is probably the largest one. I highly recommend this read. It's a bit radical and it's definitely challenging, but I'm gaining so much from it. I can't wait to do a full review on it!

Everyday Face

Hey Everyone! Today I'm trying my hand at a beauty post. Now, as a disclaimer, please know I am in no way a beauty guru. Could I spend hours in Ulta or Sephora? Yes. Have I watched at least 5 tutorials on highlighting and contouring? Yes. Do I die a little every time I get mascara on a freshly shadowed lid? Embarrassingly enough, yes. But trust me guys, I am not that girl. I've yet to master a perfectly concealed pimple, my complexion is not #flawless and I'm done attempting winged liner. This post is for girls like me, who while we dream of spending our hard earned money on nothing but Tom Ford lippies and Mac brushes, we have to settle for mostly drugstore brands and maybe a splurge item or two. So, here's my everyday product list. Subject to change next week. Then again the week after.

I shower in the morning so while I'm in there I wash my face with Purity face wash by Philosophy. This stuff is super simple, mostly all natural ingredients and just smells really clean. After that I'll moisturize my face with another Philosophy product Hope in a Jar. 

After that I prime my face. I have extremely oily skin, and it's terrible in the summer. I first heard about this trick a few years ago. It's a little crazy but it's the only shine control primer that works for me. 

That's right, ladies, I'm using laxative as primer. I use a flat foundation brush and brush a very thin layer of Milk of Magnesia on my T-Zone and and cheeks. 

While I'm waiting for the primer to dry, I start on my eye make up. For a typical day I go to my Naked Basics palette. I use foxy for all over my lid. I apply that with the Shading brush by Real Techniques. Then I add the color Naked 2 from the palette with the Ultimate Eye Shadow brush from Drew Barrymore's Flower collection. Next I add a little bit of Venus in the corner of my eyelids with a Real Techniques detailer brush. 

For my everyday face I usually skip the eyeliner just because it takes more time than I want to spend every morning so next comes mascara. Right now I'm using two by Too Faced. Mascara is one of the things I like to splurge on, because I feel like you get what you pay for. First I apply a layer of Size Queen then right after that I apply a layer of Better Than Sex. That completes my eyeballs. 

Next comes concealer. I do have some redness and the occasional pimple so I use the 10 color Foundation & Concealer palette from BH Cosmetics and this yellow concealer from Nyx. The palette I use for trouble spots like zits and the yellow concealer goes under my eyes to hide any dark circles.

Foundations comes after concealer. I've been using Maybeline's Dream Liquid Mousse foundation for a while. I really like the coverage. I use the shade Light 5 for the summer when I'm darker, and Light 3 in the winter when I'm a bit more pale. After putting 3 pumps on my hand and dotting it all over my face, I use my sponge to blend it all in. This is a knock-off version of the Beauty Blender, same product but much cheaper. I got mine from BH cosmetics. Then I take a loose powder, right now I'm using L'oreal Hydra Perfecte Powder in Translucent and set my whole face. 

Once that's all set I grab my 6 color Contour & Blush palette from BH (I like them a lot in case you can't tell) and start to contour. I have a pretty round face so I just use enough contour to give my face some shape. I use the middle shade in the bottom row right under my cheekbones, on my temples and under my jawline. I also put a little on both sides of my nose. For the contour I use the Real Techs Contour brush. 

Then, using the same palette I add blush to my cheeks with the  Real Techs blush brush and the white highlighter powder on the bridge of my nose with the ELF fan brush. 

After that, I use Victoria's Secret Shine lip gloss in the color Shine Berry and I'm done!