Enemies of Inner Peace

It's been a while since I've heard a message that I felt was written directly towards me so I guess I was overdue for a hard-hitter. I want to share my notes from a sermon I heard tonight by Ray West with you all.

The title was "Enemies of Inner Peace" and Ray opened with a verse from Colossians.

And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.                          Colossians 3:15 NKJ

There are a lot of people, including Christians, who struggle with finding peace. With the stresses of the world upon us, it's hard to feel optimistic about much of anything. It seems like there is so much to worry about (financial struggles, elderly parents, pleasing our boss, marriage issues, raising children, spiritual wellness) that it can be frustrating and seem down right impossible to feel stress-free and peaceful. Not to mention that watching the news every morning can make you feel like the earth is doomed. Ray gave us 5 trouble areas that can keep us from finding that peace that we all hope for.

Materialism
So at this point in the sermon I'm thinking "Ok, this is going to be the one that applies to me", but little did I know, they would all apply to me. Materialism is an enemy of peace because the more we have, the more we want. In Ecclesiastes we're told:

He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver, Nor he who loves abundance with increase. This is also vanity.                             Ecclesiastes 5:10 NKJ

The Bible talks a lot about materialism and possessions. In fact, it's so important that there are not one, but two commandments about it: Thou shall not steal and Thou shall not covet. Both commandments are for our own good. We should love God and have so much faith in Him, that we are completely content with what we have. Not to mention, no matter what we acquire here won't go with us once we die. We can't take our car, our boat, our house, our wardrobe, our diamonds, or anything we possess.

"..for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."  Luke 12:15 NKJ

I struggle with this because while I don't necessarily have to have a new car or the biggest house, any time we get an invitation in the mail to a wedding or event, my immediate thought is that I have to go out and buy a new outfit. Clothes, shoes, jewelry and makeup are my weakness. I have no problem spending $28 on mascara or justifying a new dress when I could really use that money for something else. If I wasn't so worried about how I look or how other people see or think about me, I could be happy with who I am no matter what I'm wearing, thus resulting in peace inside and out. Our lives aren't going to be measured by what we have, but who we are. Money doesn't equal happiness, no matter what society tells us.

Dualism
This one goes hand in hand with materialism. Ray referenced Matthew for this one.

No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.         Matthew 6:24 NKJ 

Often times, we find ourselves being pulled in so many different directions. The need to be accepted, liked and loved can make us do things that if we were truly committed to God, we wouldn't normally do. For me, my dualism is that while I love God, I'm also a people pleaser and often take on more than I can handle. This goes back to the need to be accepted and being worried about what people think of me. I have a big problem saying "yes" to things when I know I can't do it all or that I'll be stretched too thin. If I wasn't so worried about upsetting someone or letting someone down, I could do a few things really well, instead of doing so many things and just being average at them or not giving them the time and attention they deserve. If I practiced saying no more, I would have more time to spend with God doing things I know he wants me to, leaving me less stressed and having a little more peace.

Infantilism/Childish
I wasn't quite sure what Ray meant at first about this one until he said this:

Infantilism is frustrated adult people stamping their feet at the showcase of life.

Now I get it. The older I get the more I am surprised at how immature adults really are. At the workplace, in the home, at church. It amazes me that adults, especially ones who are supposedly Christians can argue and hold grudges the way that we do. Often times, the issue that is being argued over is truly not that big of a deal, but the pride gets in our way and we just can't bare to let someone else have the last word.

In his letter to the church of Corinth, Paul writes that he couldn't discuss deep spiritual lessons and truths with them because they were still spiritually immature.

... For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?                                    Luke 3:3 NKJ

The best way I can think to apply this to my life is within the church. There have been several times where a church member has made a comment to me or I've heard from someone else that there was a complaint about the sound or visuals during the service and I am so quick to become defensive and write that person off. So much so, that I replay their comment in my head over and over again, and create the best comeback  that I can, and I promise myself that the next time I see that person, I'm gonna let them have it. Y'all, that is so childish. And petty. And so not Christ-like. If we could see past our preferences, opinions and just plain ugliness, we could really get some things accomplished.

Narcissism
Narcissism is defined as excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance. In the age of Instagram and selfie-sticks, it's so easy to be wrapped up with our appearance. Why does it feel so good when we get so many likes on a Facebook post? Society and culture tell us that we are defined by how others see us. We've become so preoccupied with our outside appearance and status, that we'll quickly put our values and morals to the side for another retweet or like on Insta. And once we have those likes and that approval, we level-up and are better than the people we left behind. We are so hungry for that attention and reaffirmation that we're good enough or pretty enough, that we have no problem ranking others as lower or higher than we are. Romans 12:3 warns us about measuring ourselves against others.

For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.                                    Romans 12:3 NKJ

The only thing we should measure ourselves against is God, and we will always fall short. But because of his grace that we have been given ,we can be at peace knowing that we are exactly who God made us to be, no matter how many followers or friends we have.

Perfectionism
Ray called this the worst one of all. Perfectionism is emotionally unhealthy and spiritually damaging. Not only does the need to be perfect or do all things perfectly cause us major stress and anxiety, but it says that we don't need God or His forgiveness. We have to understand that we are not perfect and never will be, which is why Jesus saved us from our sins. We are who God made us, flaws and all, for a reason. All of our flaws and imperfections make up the most unique, perfect recipe for you, and if you change the ingredients, you're no longer the person that God intended for you to be.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.                  1 John 1:8 NKJ

 So as I sit here, listening to Tanner yell "AND 1!" at Game 7, watching our new kitten play in the floor, and watching our first cat watching the new kitten that she's still not so sure about, I'm thinking about how peaceful it is. Because while there are a million things I could be worried about (work tomorrow, the dreaded Monday, what I'm going to wear, the next tragedy that will strike America) I'm going to try really hard to just be at peace, with no makeup on, God as my one and only, hopefully a maturing spirituality, a big slice of humble pie and trying to let go of the anxiety that there is a large possibility I've made a spelling or grammatical error in this rambling of a post.

Thanks for reading.

Book Review: Bare Bones

If you don't know who Bobby Bones is, well, you should. Bobby Estell is the brains behind The Bobby Bones Show, a great morning radio talk show based out of Nashville. His show started being broadcast in our area maybe a year or so ago, and Tanner has really enjoyed. He talked about it so much that now I listen to it, and when we get home from work in the evenings we talk about the talk show. That's a lot of talkin'!

Bobby had been talking about his book on air for a while, and I knew that Tanner would love to read it. Bare Bones was released May 17th and our copy arrived May 19th. Tanner finished it last Friday night so I took it with us to the river for Memorial Day weekend. I started it Saturday afternoon and finished it on Sunday afternoon. It's a very easy read!

Overall, the book was great. Bobby's stories, accompanied with his usual self-deprecating humor, were funny and fun to read. I also feel like there was some good "dirt" in the book, also (i.e. billboards, Chris Young, the nosebleed). I couldn't have picked a better title for the book, because I really felt like Bobby was baring it all. His childhood stories broke my heart but were also very easy to relate to. After reading the book, I just wanted (and still do) to give him the biggest bear hug and say "You are so worth it!". Because of Bobby's past experiences, it almost seems like it would be impossible for him to believe that anyone would or could genuinely like him. He's been slighted so many times in his past that he writes about always feeling like a mistake or that he was in the way (his mother had him at 15, he writes about feeling like he ruined her life). Bobby is so unique, honest and likeable that after listening to him on the radio and reading his book, I really feel like he would be one of my friends.

 Bare Bones kept me so interested and entertained that I was actually sad to see that I was on the last chapter. I'd definitely recommend this book to any of my friends and I'm really hoping for another!!

A Lonely Blog and a Sick Husband

How many times does one have to fail at something before they give up? By now, I have surely failed at a consistent blog, but, you know what? I'm not ready to give up. My motivation is like a roller coaster - one week I'm super pumped and can crank out blog posts and ideas one after another - the next week, I can't come up with a sentence much less a post. I guess maybe I don't think my day to day is entertaining enough to be put down in words but who am I trying to impress anyway?

Since I haven't posted in 4 months, I won't even try to cover what happened during them. Let's just start with this week, shall we?

Tanner is pretty prone to sinus infections, so when he started sniffling and coughing last week we didn't think much of it. Tuesday he came home and said he felt like he'd "been hit by a truck" and went straight to bed after dinner - that's when I knew something was up. He called out of work Wednesday and when I left the house to go to work he was still asleep, which is unusual because he's an early riser. About 2pm that afternoon he called me at work and said he thought he might need to go the hospital so I left work and picked him up from home. We made it to Urgent Care about 3pm and no sooner had the nurse laid eyes on Tanner she diagnosed him with the flu. 3 pharmacies later we had Tamiflu and some cough medicine and where headed home. The doctor wrote him a note to stay out of work for 3 days, so he can go back Monday. He slept all day Thursday and started to feel better yesterday. The hardest part for him has been staying inside. The flu might be wearing off but I think he's coming down with a case of Cabin Fever.

What a way to kickoff the month of March!

Nexplanon: Month 3

Men: Turn around. Run far away. Don't read this one, either.






Drained. Literally. That is all I can say about this past month. While month 2 was by far the worst, month 3 wasn't too hot either. I didn't cramp nearly as bad as I did last month, but I'm still bleeding and am so very, very tired. To be sure by now the hormones released in this devil's device and my body are well-acquainted so what could possibly be going on? I'm not sure how long I'll leave it in for, but it's making me a bit miserable. I just want to enjoy every bit of being married and I don't feel very good about myself because I'm not able to. I feel like I've taken something away from Tanner and that I'm not being fair to him. I'm thinking that if things have not changed by December, I'll have it taken out. I'm so sorry to be a crybaby over this. I was really excited to think that I had found a birth control option that worked for me. Hopefully, if you choose to have the Nexplanon implant you'll have better results than I.

Happies for the Week

Just a list of things that made me happy this week:

 

 

 

We are not getting a hurricane this weekend!

 

Cool nights

 

Planning for the Trunk or Treat at church

 

Casual day at work

 

Dinner with my bff

 

October, in general

 

My umbrella

 

Taco Tuesday with Tanner

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Joaquin in a Wet Wonderland

Ahhhh October. A time for football, pumpkins, fall décor, scary movies and torrential downpours. Wait, what?

While everyone else is gearing up for a great month full of pumpkin patches and hayrides, here in Eastern NC we're buying bread and milk like it's going out of style. Joaquin is still about 800 miles off the coast but we don't take hurricanes lightly around here. My sweet husband has already put a ban on burning any of my candles recreationally, we have to save them in case we lose electricity. So I might not be able to blow dry my hair but at least our house will smell good.



We're the blue dot


But seriously, pray for all of us on the East Coast. Hurricanes have done a real number on us in the past and I hope if Joaquin does come our way, there will be minimal damage. Our little river town doesn't take too kindly to flooding.

Happies for the Week

It's Friday, ya'll! Here's a list of little things that made me happy over the last few days, aka Happies for the Week:

 

 

 

 Labor Day!

 

 Tanner playing guitar (swoon)

 

Barnes & Noble

 

Throw Pillows for $18

 

Getting to work on time Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (yes!)

 

 Finishing chores before work, I even folded the socks

 

 Today is a good hair day

 

 Thursday Night Football and wings with Tanner

 

 Made Buffalo Chicken Dip for the first time

 

 Didn't forget towels in washing machine

 

 Finding PS2 games for .99 cent at Trade It

 

Last night's thunderstorm

 

 

Bath & Body Works' Fall Candles

 

Pumpkin Spice Latte is back at Starbucks

 

 

 

 

What happies did you have this week?

 

 

 

On a more serious note, let's take a moment to remember the tragic events that took place 14 years ago. Take just a minute to pray for those who lost loved ones, first responders that keep us safe (policemen, firemen, EMTs) and for the future of this country.

 

"Pray without ceasing" 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Labor Day Weekend Recap

This long weekend was just what the doctor ordered. We kicked it off Friday night with spending some time with my mom, stepdad and a couple from our church. Nothing like subs, meatballs and board games. Tanner could play Apples to Apples for hours (if I let him). We got home around 9:30 and passed out.

Saturday Tanner did his usual golf thing so Lyndsay and I headed to Raleigh to do some shopping. Our first stop was Charming Charlie. Ladies, if you haven't heard of this place prepare to be amazed. This is an accesory store, with some clothes and shoes but mostly jewelry. Sounds pretty typical but guess what? It's organized by COLOR. It's an OCD dream. Need something gold? Step right over to the gold section. Something turqouise? To your left. Tortoise shell? Bracelets, earrings, necklaces, anything. This is my favorite place in the entire world besides Barnes & Noble. I highly suggest you go to their website and find the nearest location. It's all super affordable, you won't be disappointed. Next was Lane Bryant. I got a shirt for $9 but there wasn't really anything spectacular going on in there. After that we headed to the Old Navy that was in the same shopping center. Lyndsay picked up a cute dress but I didn't find anything. Our last place was Marshalls. The goal for my day was finding a cute purse but I just couldn't seem to find anything I really liked. Lyndsay got 2 cute tops from there and then we headed home and made a pit stop in Zebulon. 

That night Tanner's mom came over and Tanner grilled some awesome ribs and chicken for us. Then his sister Alli, her husband, Scott, and their sweet little baby boy, Carter, stopped by. Tanner loves that little guy and it melts my heart to see them together. It was really nice catching up with his family and looking at Halloween costumes for baby Carter (please search baby Michelin Man on Pinterest). 

Sunday morning we went to church then ate lunch at my grandma's house. After that it was nap time and I finally got around to organizing our cabinets under the bathroom sinks and our pantry. We went over to my mom's about 6:30 to have pizza and play more board games with a few people from church since we didn't have an evening service that night. 

This morning (Monday) I slept in until 8:30am! That is a true accomplishment. Tanner got up early to play golf so I did a little bit of cleaning up while I waited for him to get back. He got home around lunch time and we headed to Greenville to spend the rest of the day together. I found some really cute pillows at Ross and TJ Maxx. We also went to Barnes & Noble. I got the book House on Fire by Antonio and Christelle Baldovinos. It's about how instead of waiting for a revival to happen at church, revival really begins at home. I'm excited to start it. Tanner bought a book called Martian by Andy Weir. Our real prize of the day was the 99 cent video games we found for the PlayStation 2 at Trade It. We have internet and Netflix, so we don't have cable or satellite. Every now and then, especially in the winter when it's too cold for golf, Tanner will drag out his PS2 and play the same football game he's had for years. Now he has PGA Tiger Woods Golf to add to his collection. He is way too excited about this. 

After a Wal-Mart run (inevitable) we finally made it home and I'm sitting in the living room mentally preparing myself for work tomorrow. Now if I can only make it to Thanksgiving Break! 

All that Jesus Stuff

I know that the term Christian gets tossed around pretty loosely these days. Just about anyone can claim to be a Christian, and there's really no secret password or question you can ask them to prove that they are. I know there are millions of different denominations and types and I know that religion in itself is pretty confusing, so I'm not even going to try to go into all that detail. What I want to do is just tell you what all that Jesus stuff means to me.

I am what you would call a Cradle Christian. I've attended church ever since I was born.
Since I can remember, Sundays have always been about church. Church at 10am, Lunch after, then church at night. And sometimes even church on Wednesday nights. Seems like quite a bit, right? I've done the church camp thing, I've done the youth group thing, I've done the baptism thing. Growing up I was basically a model Christian kid. But I'll let you in on a little secret: I didn't actually know what being a Christian meant.

You see, obviously I knew the difference between good and bad. And I knew that God wanted me to be good so I could go to Heaven, and if I was bad I'd go to hell. Well, I pretty much had that down by high school (with a few minor slip-ups, of course). But here's where things get hairy: I quickly discovered that the world is not divided into good or bad. There's a lot of gray area in there. I also discovered that not everyone was raised in a church (gasp). Some people didn't even know the words to The Old Rugged Cross. So as I'm realizing this, I'm questioning the things I've always been told. And at the same time, I get my first boyfriend. Then, I slide that "True Love Waits" vowel to the back of my mind. I conveniently forget the sober pledge I took. I let all of my church knowledge fall to the wayside, and I focus on having fun. After all, high school is the best time of our lives right?

*sidenote: High school is not the best time of your life. Trust me, it gets way better if you have faith. Then, you kind of realize high school is stupid and you file that under "embarrassing things to not ever think about again".*

I focus on myself. And my boyfriend. And how to get alcohol even though I'm not 21. Throughout the next 4 years I am living it up. Parties, recklessness, lack of responsibilities; the whole shebang.
But one night, things go too far. And I make a mistake that costs me a friendship and almost relationship. And I'm really lonely. And I slowly realize that none of the stuff I'm doing is fulfilling. So I pray for the first time in years. I pray a lot. I beg God to show me that he's still there and that I'm not too messed up of a person for him to still love me. What I was realizing was that I had to go back. I had to go back to where I was safe and that was at home with my family and at church, with my church family. God finally did show me that he was there. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer and died 2 weeks later. God really went all out, didn't he? No, I'm not saying that God killed my granddad just to show me he had that much power. It was what happened the night he died. My granddad declined pretty rapidly and we knew the end was near. I'd finally fallen asleep when I got the call. He died at 3:15am that morning. I went to my grandmother's house, still in my pajamas, and sat with my family. And as I sat there, when I should have been crying and distraught because my loved one just died, I felt the strangest kind of peace. I sat on the couch and looked around at the rest of my beautiful family. I realized that God had been with me the whole time and that I was so loved. Then I felt the biggest sense of urgency I have ever felt. I had to do something. I had to go back to church but this time I couldn't just sit there hoping that Grandma made meatloaf for lunch. I had to get involved. I had to show people that sometimes things get messy and we make mistakes, but God is always there. I had to get this message out.

About this same time God was working on someone else. That relationship I almost ruined? It was mine. Tanner and I had been together for about a year, and I have to admit I didn't take things as seriously as I should have. But God knew what he was doing when he sent me the world's most patient man. Tanner didn't change me, he never asked me to be a different person or fight with me when I made wrong choices. Tanner was just good. He was just such a genuine, kind person that the more I was around him, the more I wanted to be like him. And he went to church with me. And he loved me unconditionally, almost as much as God did. He was the best example of love and he didn't even know it. God had given me everything I needed, I just had to hit rock bottom to realize that I needed it.

"God had given me everything I needed, I just had to hit rock bottom to realize that I needed it."

So, once I got involved in church I had a bit of a revelation. Being a Christian is not about good vs bad. Being a Christian is not about how many times you attend church. Being a Christian isn't even about how much money you donate to a church. Being a Christian is about failing and falling short, over and over again, but having the promise to always be forgiven, even when you don't deserve it because Jesus gave His life for you. Being a Christian is about having a church family and service. Being a Christian is devoting your life to serving Jesus, whether it's by helping someone less fortunate than you, volunteering at a church event, or just simply talking to Jesus about someone. You see, the world seems pretty messed up right about now and it's pretty hard to be positive with so much negativity, but I'm actually hopeful for the future, and it's because of all that Jesus stuff.

New York, Here I Come!

Since I can remember my mom and I have always wanted to visit New York City. She's been once before with my dad when they were still married, and when she came back she promised me that she and I would go. We've always been into musicals and shows so to see a play on Broadway has been on my bucket list for a while. Other than that, and the typical landmarks like Central Park and the Empire State Building, I'm not actually sure what else we should do while we're there. I know there is so much to do but I don't want to miss anything. We're going in the beginning of December for 3 days.

Help me out, y'all, what should we do???

Nexplanon: 2 Months In

Men: Find the back button on your browser and get the heck out of here. You DO NOT want to read this one.

Well Ladies,
I don't have good news. After being so excited over this great medical advancement my bubble has officially been burst. Month 1 on Nexplanon was a breeze. Month 2 hit me like a freight train.

Exactly 30 days after having my Nexplanon implant, I got the most insane cramps I have ever experienced. They started on a Wednesday night and me, being the stubborn lady I am, decided to power through it without taking anything. By Thursday noon I knew these were not regular period cramps. Y'all, these things hurt. The best I could do was sit at my desk at work and just close my eyes. It was literally like someone was scraping out my ovaries with a shovel. I took some ibuprofen and hoped they would subside. Friday morning they started again. I seriously considered calling out of work but my boss was off that day and didn't want to leave anyone hanging. I made it to 2:00pm then I had to get out of there. I emailed my boss and explained that I was having side effects from the new BC, grabbed my purse and cried the entire way home. Wave after wave after wave of pain shot through me. As soon as I got home I got in the bathtub, hoping warm water would help. Nope. I got in the bed and just cried. Thank God for Tanner, he got home just in time. He called my mom who said that she'd talked to her doctor (she works at the women's care office where I got the implant) and the doctor said it was normal. NORMAL. She sent my grandma and aunt over with heating pads and medicine. I took a pill for pain and fell asleep. I woke up around 7pm and felt pretty good considering. No cramps. For the next few days, I took an Aleve every 4-6 hours and was able to manage the cramps. But here comes the worst part.........

After the cramps subsided, I bled constantly for 21 straight days. Not spotting or light, but heavy bleeding. I went through 3 boxes of tampons. It was torture, y'all. And my poor husband. He deserves a medal. No, he deserves a trophy or the world's biggest steak or something. Finally, the bleeding stopped for about a week. But it has since started again. Not heavy like before, just spotting. But it's still pretty frustrating. I guess I can say that Nexplanon works for birth control, because you can't get pregnant if you can't have sex.

Better Half

Better Half

Hopefully, through reading my blog you'll get to know a lot about me, but the story wouldn't be complete without my better half. I could probably spend hours gushing over who I think is the most perfect man in the world but I'll spare you all from that mushy, lovey-dovey stuff.

Tanner and I went to high school together, but we didn't actually meet until my senior year. I was friends with his girlfriend at the time, so we all went to my senior prom together. Tanner was quiet, and if I knew anything about him it was just that he drove a turquoise jeep and wore camouflage. Not really my thing back then.

We didn't really hang out with the same groups of people so after I graduated I didn't see him again for a while. Then one night I happened to run into him at a restaurant and a few hours later I got a message on Facebook. (How cheesy, right?!) Anyways, long story short I gave him my number and we started "talking"...or at least I think that's what the young people still call it. Our first date was at Carolina Ale House and while it was nice, it was a little awkward. I couldn't help but notice how genuinely sweet he was. I could tell he was nervous and I was flattered by that. I hadn't dated anyone that nice in a long time.

Fast forward to exactly 2 years later and I'm walking down the aisle to him. Our wedding was small, simple and very casual, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. We've been married a year and a half now and Tanner shows me every day that he is still that genuine, kind guy that I fell in love with. He's selfless, hard-working and so silly. He plays the guitar like it was made for him, loves golf and nothing makes me more proud than to see him serving the Lord at church or wherever else we go. I'll be the first to admit that at times I've wandered pretty far from the path of God,  but the Lord knew just what he was doing when he sent me the best trail guide and partner in the world.

Changes in September

Time is flying, y'all! I'm not sure I even remember July, or August, for that matter. I am really trying to "stop and smell the roses" but I am just too excited for the best season ever. When it comes to fall, I'm your typical girl. I'm ready for bonfires, crunchy leaves, salted caramel lattes, anything pumpkin flavored or themed, fall décor, Howl-O-Scream at Busch Gardens, football and Homecoming at church. Seriously, my favorite time of year.

With all that said, the leaves aren't the only thing changing 'round here. A few months ago I found out my company is moving our offices to Greenville, NC; a town about 20 miles west of Washington. Unfortunately for us, we moved in the opposite direction, about 10 miles east of Washington. So, starting in mid-October my commute will go from 15 to 45 minutes. There is a plus side, though. Greenville is where we do most of our shopping, so on my lunch break I'm hoping to make it TJ Maxx quite a bit. I'm excited but super nervous, as I'll be working with all new people. Scared!

Last Sunday our interim minister spent his last worship service with us. He and his wife have been such a blessing to our church as we continue the search for a new minister. It's been pretty challenging, but I really feel like we're growing spiritually, and Bob and Denise had a huge part in that. I can't say how awesome they were with their words of encouragement and steady perseverance. It was really hard to see them go, but we wish them well in the future and hope we can find a full time minister quickly.

Being that I'll have a longer commute, Tanner and I are in talks about our current vehicle situation. My car is...fine, I think I just might need something a little more dependable. It's definitely not a clunker, but it has definitely seen better days. And since we don't have kids yet I think it would be better to go ahead and bite the bullet so to speak so that hopefully, by the time we do have little ones, at least one of our vehicles will be paid off. That being said, I'm looking for a mid-size SUV. I was sold on something like a Chevrolet Equinox, but then realized they didn't have third row seating. So now I'm considering a Kia Sorento. Do you guys have any suggestions? I'm not exactly looking for something as big as a Tahoe, but something larger than a Ford Escape. I'd love to hear your thoughts!

What changes are going on your world? Do you have any goals or plans for the upcoming months?

The Book that Could Save My Marriage (before it needs saving)

I've been following Danielle Butler's blog for a while now. She's actually one of the very first blogs I followed and is even one of the inspirations behind The Bright's Side. A while ago she talked about a book called Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl in this blog post. It sounded like something I might be interested in so I put in on my mental To Do list. Then, about a week ago she posted on Instagram a picture of something from the book and I decided to go ahead and give it a read so I downloaded it on my iPad.


Ya'll, this book has opened my eyes and has changed my entire perspective on my marriage. I'm only on chapter 5 but so far I have gained so much from this book. I knew that I was supposed to "submit" to my husband and "honor" him and "be his crown" and all that, but I wasn't actually doing it.

 

 You see, I've been doing it all wrong so far. I've been letting my emotions and feelings control me, and whenever Tanner does something that hurts me or makes me angry, I've been handling it all wrong. Normally, if Tanner does something that upsets me, my entire mood changes. I pout or say something hurtful to him to let him know that I am not happy with him and I try to cause him pain like he's caused me. Doing this is like saying "God, I know I'm supposed to be patient and not easily angered and stuff, but this is an exception, Tanner needs to know he did something wrong so I'm going to handle this my way, and I'll handle it your way when it's a more minor offense." But the problem with that is that everything becomes an exception and you never learn to handle it God's way, only your way. You practice and practice and practice being angry and giving him the cold shoulder and learning new ways to make him feel terrible about himself all the while tearing him down and making him realize how much you don't respect him. With men, respect is key. Men feel the need to be respected like ladies feel the need to be loved and cherished. They have to have that to feel like they matter. In her book, Debi features a story about a wife that was more her husband's conscious than his help meet. When I read that story, I realized that I am the same way. I am so concerned with what Tanner's doing that when he messes up or does something I don't think he should, I feel this need to tell him what he did wrong. I feel like if I don't tell him, he might not realize he did something wrong and then he'll keep doing it. I am quickly becoming his conscious, and not his loving wife that supports him no matter what.

Maybe it's because I'm a control freak, but I'm struggling with the thought of my husband being the head of this body. I've had this idea that we are equal, that he will work hard at his job, I will work hard at my job and we will both come home and work hard with chores and dinner. But that is wrong. Tanner is not designed to be my equal. I am not designed to be his. Tanner is made to lead me and I am made to follow. I was created to help him in whatever he needs. I am here for support, love, reverence and whatever else he needs me to be. There are not 2 leading roles in a marriage. There is 1. Tanner gets that role and I am the supporting role and I am trying really hard to accept that. Our culture has taught us that we should fight for equality in marriages and that each partner should be equal, but God says otherwise. God's plan for women is to help and support the husband, to be merry, joyful and thankful at all times.

There are so many other lessons I've learned already but this is probably the largest one. I highly recommend this read. It's a bit radical and it's definitely challenging, but I'm gaining so much from it. I can't wait to do a full review on it!

Everyday Face

Hey Everyone! Today I'm trying my hand at a beauty post. Now, as a disclaimer, please know I am in no way a beauty guru. Could I spend hours in Ulta or Sephora? Yes. Have I watched at least 5 tutorials on highlighting and contouring? Yes. Do I die a little every time I get mascara on a freshly shadowed lid? Embarrassingly enough, yes. But trust me guys, I am not that girl. I've yet to master a perfectly concealed pimple, my complexion is not #flawless and I'm done attempting winged liner. This post is for girls like me, who while we dream of spending our hard earned money on nothing but Tom Ford lippies and Mac brushes, we have to settle for mostly drugstore brands and maybe a splurge item or two. So, here's my everyday product list. Subject to change next week. Then again the week after.

I shower in the morning so while I'm in there I wash my face with Purity face wash by Philosophy. This stuff is super simple, mostly all natural ingredients and just smells really clean. After that I'll moisturize my face with another Philosophy product Hope in a Jar. 

After that I prime my face. I have extremely oily skin, and it's terrible in the summer. I first heard about this trick a few years ago. It's a little crazy but it's the only shine control primer that works for me. 

That's right, ladies, I'm using laxative as primer. I use a flat foundation brush and brush a very thin layer of Milk of Magnesia on my T-Zone and and cheeks. 

While I'm waiting for the primer to dry, I start on my eye make up. For a typical day I go to my Naked Basics palette. I use foxy for all over my lid. I apply that with the Shading brush by Real Techniques. Then I add the color Naked 2 from the palette with the Ultimate Eye Shadow brush from Drew Barrymore's Flower collection. Next I add a little bit of Venus in the corner of my eyelids with a Real Techniques detailer brush. 

For my everyday face I usually skip the eyeliner just because it takes more time than I want to spend every morning so next comes mascara. Right now I'm using two by Too Faced. Mascara is one of the things I like to splurge on, because I feel like you get what you pay for. First I apply a layer of Size Queen then right after that I apply a layer of Better Than Sex. That completes my eyeballs. 

Next comes concealer. I do have some redness and the occasional pimple so I use the 10 color Foundation & Concealer palette from BH Cosmetics and this yellow concealer from Nyx. The palette I use for trouble spots like zits and the yellow concealer goes under my eyes to hide any dark circles.

Foundations comes after concealer. I've been using Maybeline's Dream Liquid Mousse foundation for a while. I really like the coverage. I use the shade Light 5 for the summer when I'm darker, and Light 3 in the winter when I'm a bit more pale. After putting 3 pumps on my hand and dotting it all over my face, I use my sponge to blend it all in. This is a knock-off version of the Beauty Blender, same product but much cheaper. I got mine from BH cosmetics. Then I take a loose powder, right now I'm using L'oreal Hydra Perfecte Powder in Translucent and set my whole face. 

Once that's all set I grab my 6 color Contour & Blush palette from BH (I like them a lot in case you can't tell) and start to contour. I have a pretty round face so I just use enough contour to give my face some shape. I use the middle shade in the bottom row right under my cheekbones, on my temples and under my jawline. I also put a little on both sides of my nose. For the contour I use the Real Techs Contour brush. 

Then, using the same palette I add blush to my cheeks with the  Real Techs blush brush and the white highlighter powder on the bridge of my nose with the ELF fan brush. 

After that, I use Victoria's Secret Shine lip gloss in the color Shine Berry and I'm done!

Feeling the Burn (literally) with Colton Dixon

Hi guys, do I have a story for you today! Last Saturday my best friend, Lyndsay and I, spent our day volunteering at a Colton Dixon concert. Lyndsay is a cosmetologist and one of her clients owns an event planning business. This particular business does a lot of work for the Christian radio station in our town, which is called The Bridge FM. Lyndsay’s client asked us last week if we’d help with Colton’s concert and we said we’d love to. We were instructed to be at the theatre at 11:30am Saturday morning and plan on being there until after the concert was over that night. We were so excited we even went shopping Friday night to find new outfits to wear. We had no idea what we were in for…..

Upon our arrival, we were told to steam tablecloths for the merchandise table and start setting up the items on the Colton’s rider. A rider is a list of requests an artist makes for his performance. We headed to the green room to start setting it all up. Lyndsay filled the steamer and I started putting their snacks in buckets on their table. Within several minutes more volunteers were showing up and more jobs were being handed out. Things got a little crazy and just when I could feel the sweat starting to trickle down my forehead (RIP my foundation) I made the most embarrassing mistake ever. I walked over to the steamer to see if it was hot and it was, finally, so I grabbed the handle off of the hook and pulled it over to a tablecloth. I thought the cord was longer than it actually was, so when I pulled steamer over to me, the entire thing fell over. I dropped the handle to catch it, but as I did that the boiling water started pouring out of the handle and onto my left foot (and my new Jack Rogers L). Ya’ll, I have never experienced so much pain. Not to mention as I’m jumping around like a maniac trying desperately not to cry or say an ugly word, the director of the event walks in just in time to see the boiling water bubbling over my foot onto the ground and the tablecloth being soaked. I could have curled up in a ball and died. I decided right then and there that I was not cut out for this type of work.

Lyndsay and I picked up the steamer and tablecloth and she started to steam desperately. By this time Colton and his crew were arriving and we were under a lot of pressure to get things finished for their green room and get lunch set up. My foot was still on fire and I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like to have someone trying to cut your leg off with a chainsaw. Seriously, if childbirth is worse than boiling water on your skin, Count. Me. Out.

After that, we hung the tablecloths over a couch in the lobby and started to set up lunch. Colton and his band came in and ate, then headed into the auditorium for sound check. Lyndsay and I ate and I ranted to her about how embarrassed I was. The director came in and asked to take a look at my foot (she used to be an EMT) and said she thought they were 2^nd degree burns. She told us we could go home for a little while but to be back by 3pm. The break was much needed, as we were sweaty, shiny, ill and hungry. We went back to Lyndsay’s and took a quick 15 minute rest, touched up our hair and makeup, then went to my mom’s house to get some cream for my burns. Luckily, she had something to put on my foot and once she did the pain went away almost immediately. We decided to head back to the theatre and tough out the rest of the afternoon and night.

 

We got there around 3 and watched the end of Colton’s sound check. After that the director gave us a rundown of the ticket booth that we were in charge of and gave us a few more duties. We had a meeting at 4pm with all of the volunteers then ate a really quick, but delicious dinner. After dinner we headed back to the ticket booth and lines were already forming outside. People who bought VIP tickets were allowed to come in at 5:30pm for the meet and greet. After getting the VIPs sorted and in line to meet Colton, we opened the doors and let the rest of the concert goers in. There was a mad rush of tickets, cash, and children for about an hour then things quieted down. The opening band started at 7pm and we let the last people in at 7:05pm. Lyndsay and I headed upstairs to watch the concert from the volunteer section in the balcony. The opening band was the praise and worship team from Covenant Church, based out of Washington, NC and they did a great job. There was about a 10 minute intermission while Colton’s people set up then he started right at 7:50pm. He opened with a few rock-ish songs and he had a great energy. In about the middle of his set he did one of his singles on the radio right now “More of You”, and then he said a few words about faith and what it means to be the church verses going to church. He did a few songs on the piano, one of which was “Through It All”. I could feel the energy change in the crowd and I think everyone really enjoyed that time of worship. It was really wholesome and pure and I think God touched a lot of people during that. Lyndsay and I headed back down to the ticket booth to get ready to start selling tickets for the next event before all of the people came out of the show. We sold several tickets for October’s event, which is the “Time of My Life” tour featuring Chris August, The Afters, Unspoken, and Among the Thirsty. Colton came out to the merch table and signed a bunch of autographs and took a lot of pictures with the fans. He was kind and made lots of jokes, so he was an instant hit with the tween girls. Overall I think everyone really enjoyed the show and he seemed like he genuinely had a good time. After he went back to the green room, Lyndsay and I grabbed our things and headed home. I haven’t been that tired in a long time, but it was a great experience and although my foot still burns if I touch it, I’d definitely do it again.

 

 

 

 

Nexplanon: Week 3

So it looks like this is going to be an every other week update type of thing. Nothing really changed except my incision is itching constantly. I know this is just where it's healing but it's been so hard not to scratch. I'm making a valiant attempt at keeping lotion on it. The only other thing is that I'm feeling a bit sluggish, but I'm not sure if that's related to the birth control or that we've just had a very busy summer that seems to be flying by (2015 is halfway over, y'all). Over all, so far, I would say my experience has been pretty positive with the Nexplanon implant. Part of me is still a little worried that it could change after this first month, but I'm hoping all of the review I read where just written by really dramatic women. Have any of you guys tried it? What type of BC are you using? Any tips?

Nexplanon: Week 1

Hey ladies! So I've had my Nexplanon implant in for a week now and fortunately I don't really have anything to report. The bruising looks much better and is almost completely healed and the cramps have eased up a lot. I'm having PMS symptoms (acne breakouts, cravings, bloating and my emotions are on a roller coaster) but that's because it's about that time for my cycle. No spotting or anything yet so it's looking good so far!

Oh, Say Can You See!

 

What a great Independence Day weekend!

 

There is nothing like spending time with family and friends to remind you how blessed you are.

 

Sarah, the sweetest Grandma in the whole world and I playing around with the selfie stick while we waited for Susan and Alyssa to meet us

 

Thursday, after my doctor's appointment, my cousin, Sarah, who was visiting from Indiana, and my aunt Susan, cousin Alyssa and I headed to Nags Head for a day at the beach.

 

A ridiculously oversized chair we had to snap a picture in

Despite all of the shark attacks, Sarah was determined to swim. I waded in about mid-calf deep but the water was unseasonably freezing. I decided to stick to the sand and not take my chances with hypothermia or Jaws.

 

Is that a shark behind you, Sarah?

About 1:00pm I got a call from Tanner's mom saying that we had a new addition to the family. Carter Jerome Hardy was born at 11:19am at 7 pounds and 11 ounces. He is so precious and has so, so, so much hair and bright blue eyes like Mommy and Daddy.

So Sweet!

 

Once we got back from the beach I took the quickest shower of my life and met Tanner at the hospital to meet our nephew. We grabbed a quick dinner at Cheddar's and got home around 10:30, Thursday night.

Friday mom, Sarah and I went to a few stores in Greenville and had lunch at McAllister's. After that it was time to head back home to get ready for the streetdance in Belhaven. Tanner was a trooper and agreed to drive 5 crazy ladies to the streetdance and we all had a blast. We ended up going to a restaurant called The Tavern that turned out to be a really neat spot.

Lyndsay and Sarah

Tanner and I

Saturday we woke up about 8:30am and headed to the river to celebrate the 4th. We had a great day laying out, swimming and eating with all of our friends and family. Around 4 a storm looked like it was heading our way so we packed everything up and headed back up to the house. Sarah snapped this picture just as it was getting cloudy. God is an amazing artist.

Beautiful!

 

 

Saturday evening we met up with the girls again and headed Downtown Washington to catch the fireworks. There were a ton of people downtown. We found a good spot and got the hear the band finish.

This weekend was chaotic, busy and wonderful. The 4th of July is one of my most favorite holidays!

My Nexplanon Experience

Hello, ladies! Last week I ventured into a new territory with birth control so I thought why not take you along with me?

(Men, not sure you'll care to read this one.)

First, I must make a confession. Because I am the world's best procrastinator, I had been putting off visiting the lady doctor for quite some time. I know, I'm married, therefore obviously sexually active, and should have taken care of lady business a while ago, and I've learned my lesson.

Now, the main reason for my visit was a pap smear, with the intention of talking about birth control. Not only do I need something to make sure that Tanner and I do not bring an unplanned little one into the world (not that there's anything wrong with that, we are just not ready), but something to regulate my cycle. Since the 7th grade I have never been regular and it's time I get a handle on this.

After the whole pap smear, which was cringe worthy but not as bad as I expected, my doctor came in and talked with me about birth control options. There are 4 basic options; the pill, IUD, Depo shot, and Nexplanon. I knew right away that I did not want an IUD (too many horror stories) or the depo shots (a shot every 12 weeks, no thank you) so basically I had a choice between the pill and Nexplanon. My hang-up with the pill was that I knew I would probably forget to take it every day and I knew there was a possibility of weight gain. The doctor gave me a pamphlet about Nexplanon and said she thought that would be a good option for me. We talked a little more and I was on my way out. When I checked out, they gave me an appointment exactly 2 weeks away for my Nexplanon implant.

 

 

Nexplanon is a small bar that goes into your arm, between your shoulder and elbow, that releases hormones which cause your ovaries not to release eggs. You can leave it in up to 3 years, or if you decide you want children before then, you can schedule an appointment at any time to have it removed. I did a lot of research about Nexplanon and it seemed that the reviews were about 75% positive and 25% negative, so I decided to go for it. I arrived to the doctor’s office at 8:20am on July 2^nd. After check-in I peed in a cup, had my vitals checked then was put in a room. My doctor came in and asked me to lay back on the table with my left arm up. I had two small bug bites in the area where they normally put the implant so she put it about an inch lower than normal.

 

 

I wasn’t super nervous about the implant but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt a little. The worst part was the Lidocaine shot they gave me to numb the area. After that, I could feel the gun in my arm, but there was no sense of pain or anything like that. The whole process took maybe 2 minutes. The medical assistant in the room put a steri strip and band-aid on my arm then wrapped gauze around it. The doctor said that I would probably bruise and be sore for a day or so.

 

Boy, was she right. By the time I’d gotten home, I had a huge purple welt wear the implant was. It was little freaky to look at and if I touched it very gently I could feel the implant in my arm. By the end of the day my arm was pretty sore but it wasn’t until Friday that I started cramping. While shopping with my mom and cousin, I started having small cramps. I’m still having them today, but not as bad or often. Several reviews I read said they experienced heavy spotting and bleeding for the first month or so, but I haven’t experienced that, yet. So far, I don’t have anything very bad to say about the Nexplanon implant. Aside from the cramps and bruising, I forget it’s there. I’ll keep you all updated!